Many times, a simple glance makes us lose focus and judgment, we get confused if a supervisor, teacher, boss or other influential person looks at us, and it is common to feel pressured in these situations. We start doing everything wrong. : we drop things, we leave a target?in our minds, we begin to waver in words and actions.
At other times, a person of power does not trigger all these reactions in us, but an aggressive or intimidating message leads us to do so. When someone asks a question with obvious or critical violence, something you’ve done with insistence and a point of cruelty blocks their ability to answer, causing great insecurity or even paralysis.
- I was afraid of your verbal aggressions.
- I was afraid of calm before the storm.
- I was afraid of my own bones.
- I was afraid of your seduction.
- I was afraid of your coertion.
- I was afraid of your rejection.
- I was afraid of your bullying.
- I was afraid of your punishment.
- Was I afraid of your icy silence? Alanis Morissette.
So when you think about what happened and how you felt under pressure, it seems inconceivable that you, as an adult, have not been able to react consistently, this situation disturbs, irritates, generates frustration, and people end up blaming themselves for what happened. , if another similar situation occurs, they will act in the same way and become a vicious circle.
There are two types of pressure: internal and external. External pressures correspond to the situations described above: someone you think is important in your life directly influences your words and actions.
Many times people who want to have a strong influence on you want to intimidate you, usually justify this goal under the pretext of obtaining a better quality of work, optimizing time, improving vocational training, etc.
For external pressure to succeed, there must also be internal pressure. The first is more obvious, it is the desire to please this powerful person.
This is often expressed as an affliction that lives up to that person’s expectations, this type of internal pressure can be accompanied by others, such as maintaining the image of a competent person or simply not being ashamed of others, that is, not hurting their ego. .
You are amazed by the coincidence of all these pressures at the same time, all this happens in seconds and we are not aware of what is at stake in these situations, we simply perceive a request through a look, a question, a comment and we are unable to react, we act as a scolded child who has not been up to the expectations of the other and has not been able to react to reject such conditionings.
In these situations, your only desire may be to please. Dropping the pen, he shakes his hand and smiles nervously, finally agrees with the other and apologizes for his awkwardness. Or he stays mute and, by pressing it, an interior process begins self-flagellation.
Not all of our psychological limitations are “factory defects. “They’re the product of something you don’t feel safe about and indicate a place where there’s fear. Past events that have not yet been resolved make you believe that you can fail.
A logical explanation for this pressure behavior is that his life began in an environment where contempt, humiliation and devaluation were a dominant note. Probably his family or his school, the area in which he grew up has been criticized and has received a lot of criticism. Times. Or maybe you’ve had a traumatic experience that has marked your life: the loss of a parent, illness, physical limitations, etc.
According to this explanation, one becomes stunned and stranded when he agrees to behave like a dependent and frightened child, as has never happened in his life. Behind each psychological blockade, there are two components: fear and guilt.
is there a way out? Yes, of course. In fact, it can be a fascinating journey, a wonderful challenge, where you can use your own reality to grow as a person. Don’t wait for circumstances to paralyze you, act in such a way that you have enough control over your environment and gradually experience difficult situations.