Of all the existing communication styles, assertiveness is one of the most effective, however few people are able to implement it, especially in their sentimental relationships, so today we will talk about how to work the affirmed communication in the relationship even before conflicts arise.
The article “Self-affirmation: definitions and dimensions? He explains that this social capacity is “a behavior that honestly expresses the feelings and thoughts of an individual, without hurting others. “As we have seen, this is fundamental in any relationship, so it is important that the couple work on assertive communication.
- Assertive communication can be practiced every day with small simple actions.
- However.
- For this to actually take effect and relationship members become strengthened rather than injured at the time of discussions.
- They should be incorporated into the routine.
This may seem strange, but in romantic relationships, thoughts or feelings are rarely expressed. For example, if someone is bothered by someone else’s loud music, rather than telling them, they prefer to remain silent to avoid conflict.
This is counterproductive, because we could end up exploding. In addition, these uncomfortable moments that we can live daily are an opportunity to work assertive communication in the relationship.
It is better not to remain silent and respectfully ask the other person to turn down the music.
For some reason, we don’t usually talk in the first person when we argue with someone. Many blame the couple very easily and can even cast phrases like “my friend also sees things like me,” for example.
This is a mistake, because it does not allow us to work assertive communication, learning to speak in the first person helps us to take responsibility for our emotions and verbalize them, if you do not know how to do it, you can use the “I feel” or “I realized”.
“We have two ears and a mouth to hear twice what we say. “Epithet?
How many times do we verbally assault the partner when he says, Are you too disorganized?Yes? I don’t like you doing this Our reaction is generally aggressive and not affirmative. If we were used to asserting ourselves instead of attacking, we would ask first.
For example, if your partner tells you that you are too disorganized, you can ask how to improve it, this way you can engage in a dialogue that will lead to a pleasant solution for everyone, often it seems that the partner is our enemy, but not quite.
While there are many other ways of working communication in the relationship, all, as we have already mentioned, must be practiced daily.
Of course, there are some tips that can be helpful when starting an argument to avoid falling into old patterns of behavior.
“Effective communication begins with listening. ” ? Robert Gately?
Let us take advantage of every moment of our day to work on a strong communication in the relationship, so, little by little, we will build an intimacy in which trust grows.
Remember that hurting with words is not constructive, it is destructive. As Satir said in the article “The Bond of a Couple: An Emotional Possibility to Grow”, we must not forget to express yourself “in a direct, honest and respectful way”.