Two friends meet. In five minutes, one suffocates and runs out of words when he hears his interlocutor’s complaints, complaints about his parents, brother, lack of work, lack of girlfriend, poor public health service, disrespect for neighbors and arbitrary actions taken by the government. .
There are situations in life that certainly deserve your complaints as a normal reaction to release the tensions accumulated by the event itself, are the loss of a loved one, the loss of a job by staff reduction, a divorce or a serious illness. painful experiences for which a complaint can arouse our empathy.
- “He was a man who reveled in the gravity of his life and preferred to complain than change it.
- -John Katzenbach-.
However, some people complain about daily bread. Besides, do you think everything? The good people of the world are forced to hear these cries repeatedly, because otherwise they would show that they are insensitive or selfish.
Living today is not easy. We are constantly bombarded by news, most of them painful or disturbing, and we must tolerate grumpy bosses or annoying companions, not to mention the personal problems to which we are exposed, such as losses, illnesses and many often suffocating situations.
In this scenario, in general, we have two options: analyze each situation and look for the most appropriate solution or resist and adopt the position of the complaint, what concerns this second option is that it becomes a habit, which limits our potential and generates a negative attitude among those around us.
You would think that the complaint is a kind of explosion under pressure and perhaps sometimes it fulfills that function, however, the complaint can become, without realizing it, a habit that we repeat like a vicious circle and that over time becomes the automatic response to difficulties.
Research conducted by several neuroscientists has shown that the brain will undergo major changes depending on the frequency and emotional intensity of the complaint, since during this condition of constant frustration and impotence the brain releases hormones such as norepinephrine, cortisol and adrenaline that will eventually impair the normal functioning of this organ.
Some scientists even claim that constant exposure to ailment impairs or eliminates the neural connections present in the cerebral hippocampus, which is precisely the area responsible for finding solutions to the problems that affect us.
Insisting on grievance is a way of negatively conditioning us, which generates rejection in others and ends up damaging our family, loving or professional relationships, is a condition of dependence and therefore of immaturity and passivity in the face of problems.
It is unlikely that things will be the way we want them to be, so why be frustrated and bitter about what will not change, which is beyond our control?Wouldn’t it make more sense to have a more flexible attitude and behave more adaptively?, that allows us to have better options in our lives?
The energy to complain is what we need to overcome adversity, changing this type of pipe will always be an option, it is true that in some situations it is healthy to complain, it is a right that we must use because it is also part of our alternatives and strengthens our self-esteem, but we cannot let it become chronic.
To overcome this grueling habit of complaining, it’s important to start by analyzing cold-headed problems and assess what can be done, how and when, learn to interpret things differently, in a less self-destructive and more leisurely way. We don’t intend to change everyone’s world, but let’s make an effort to improve ours.
There are situations in which the complaint becomes a strategy of conscious or unconscious manipulation, the offender feels guilt and the way to disguise that guilt is to arouse feelings of compassion or solidarity in the other person, so as not to face the responsibility and consequences of his or her actions.
The complaint is a state of discomfort that tends to be perpetuated, a condition that causes suffering, but at the same time a negative pleasure, this dubious satisfaction can be corrected with a therapeutic aid, which allows it to become positive pleasure, that is. , an active desire to overcome this passive state of life.