Remember the last time you were hungry? I mean, really hungry. This hunger that drives us and encourages us to eat a lot accordingly. Interestingly, something similar happens psychologically when people were deprived of love in their childhood. The problem is that ‘food’, in this case, are unhappy people who ‘eat’, emotionally through emotional hunger.
Undoubtedly, receiving love is fundamental to emotional well-being and health, especially for a child, childhood disamoration is very serious, because it profoundly changes the psychological balance, so when it reaches adulthood this person will act for lack and lack, will desperately try to provide this through relationships of dependence, immaturity and invasion.
- The important detail is that this way of acting is not conscious.
- The individual in question simply believes that he is giving love.
- He just knows he needs to be close.
- Very close to each other; but so close.
- Invade your intimacy.
- Get involved in all areas and push your limits.
- Both physical and emotional.
- Result? This leaves others traumatized.
While it is traumatic enough for an adult to experience hunger or emotional deprivation, the case is much more serious when a child is in the care of these adults. Children are extremely vulnerable, as they still have to develop emotional and intellectual resources that allow them to protect themselves and prevent emotional harm.
The behaviors that this type of parent has with their children are
? Overprotection
? Interference in your personal affairs
? Excessive concern for your health
? Excessive and permanent physical contact
? Social isolation of the child
Of course, aspects such as protection, care, etc. , are essential, but when offered correctly. In fact, the behaviors mentioned above have devastating effects on the normal development of the child, unfortunately, children become anxious and dependent because they are used to being controlled and invaded, emotionally they can be quite explosive or inexpressive. Moreover, self-esteem is low because they are not treated with dignity and respect and therefore believe that others have the right to exceed their limits.
In the future, these children may face serious life problems in society as adults, both professionally and emotionally; their anxieties, insecurities and lack of emotional and social resources will clearly put them at a disadvantage in the face of the defiants of the outside world.
True love is very different. Instead of being devoured and devastating like a fire, it’s nutritious and constructive. It’s emotionally healthy, it doesn’t focus on emotional needs. When this happens, parents are sensitive to the child’s needs and listen to it. As a result, the child grow up safe, happy and independent. A father capable of giving a mature and healthy love?can be recognized by the following characteristics:
? He’s compassionate to himself and the child
? He maintains a healthy distance and is aware of the boundaries between the two
? Treat the child with respect and not abusive or overprotective
? It allows children to have their own experiences, under supervision, depending on their age.
? Communication is fluid, spontaneous and natural
As adults, these children will be able to have intimacy and harmonious relationships and will be endowed with all the emotional and social resources to develop their potential in different areas of their lives.
Although it is very painful to deal with your own emotional emptiness, it is best to cause irreparable harm to innocent people, such as children. You need to look inward and take responsibility for your own shortcomings. human beings that we are, we are all – to a greater or lesser extent – injured, and we will have to heal different aspects of ourselves.
Image courtesy of Teresa Yeh Photography