After the death of parents, life changes a lot, facing the orphanage, even for adults, is an amazing experience, in everyone’s background, always lives this child who can run to his mom or dad to feel protected, but when they leave, that option disappears forever.
You’ll stop seeing them, not for a week, not for a month, but for the rest of your life. The parents were the people who brought us into the world and with whom you shared the most intimate and fragile. no longer be present for those of us who, for the most part, have become who we are.
“When a newborn shakes his father’s finger with his little hand for the first time, he is trapped forever.
-Gabriel García Márquez-
We are never entirely prepared for death, especially when it comes to the death of relatives, it is a great adversity that can hardly be completely overcome, usually the best thing that can be done is to assume and live with it. at least in theory, it must be understood, but death, strictly speaking, is totally incomprehensible. This is one of the great mysteries of existence: perhaps the greatest.
Clearly, the way we assimilate losses has a lot to do with how they occurred, a death from calls to natural causes is painful, but an accident or murder is much more, if death was preceded by a long illness, the situation is very different from what happens suddenly.
It also influences the time between each other’s deaths: if there was little time, the duel will be more complex. If, on the other hand, the confiscation is more extensive, surely the person will be a little better accepted.
Not only is the body gone, but a whole universe, a world of words, caresses, gestures. Including repeated advice that sometimes irritated a little and?Hobbies? It made us smile or rub our heads because we recognize them in them, now they start to feel absent in a difficult way to treat.
Death doesn’t prevent. Presumably, he never announces exactly when he will arrive, everything is synthesized in an instant and that moment is categorical and decisive: irreversible, so many experiences lived with them, good and bad, suddenly shudder and are left alone in remembrance. and it’s time to say goodbye.
In general we believe that this day will never come, until it arrives and becomes real, we are in shock and we only see a coffin, with a rigid and silent body, that does not speak and does not move. Being there?
Because with death many aspects of the life of the deceased begin to be understood and a deeper understanding arises. Perhaps the fact that we do not have loved ones present helps to understand why many attitudes here are incomprehensible, contradictory, or even repugnant.
Therefore, death can lead to a feeling of guilt towards the dead. We must fight this feeling, because it brings nothing and sinks into more sadness, without being able to remedy it. Have we made any mistakes? We are human beings and accompanying this farewell, we need a forgiveness: of what goes for the one who stays or what is left for the one who leaves.
When parents die, regardless of age, people often feel abandoned; it’s a different death than the others. In turn, some people refuse to give it the importance it deserves, as a defense mechanism, in the form of secret denial, but these unresolved pains return in the form of illness, tiredness, irritability or symptoms of depression.
Parents are the first love. No matter how many conflicts or differences with them: they are unique and irreplaceable beings in the emotional world, even if we are autonomous and independent, even if our relationship with them was tortuous, when they are gone, there is a feeling of “never again”?for a form of protection and support that, one way or another, has always existed.
In fact, those who did not know their parents, or left them very early, tend to carry this absence as a lifelong lesto. An absence that is presence: a place that always belongs to them is in the heart.
In any case, one of the biggest losses of life is that of parents, it can be difficult to overcome if there has been injustice or neglect in their treatment, so as long as they are alive it is important to know that the parents will not be there forever. What are, genetically and psychologically, the reality that gave birth to us. That they are unique and that life will change forever when they leave.