Most parents don’t even know that there are different styles of parenting, they simply do the best they can based on what they have learned from the experience and taking into account their ideas and principles.
Regardless of what they know or not, it can be said that parents adopt some of the different growing styles.
- According to developmental psychologist Diana Baumrind.
- Creative styles are determined by two main aspects: 1) sensitivity and interest and 2) demand and firmness.
This author has developed one of the best-known theories about creative styles, proposed three categories (authoritarian style, indulgent style and assertive style), but then expanded the theory, including also negligent parents.
Each style has a different combination of these two aspects (points 1 and 2). Unsurprisingly, as in all walks of life, the best style is one that strikes a balance between the two.
? Authoritarian style: the father says, “It’s because I said, period” (100% demand and firmness). Very strict supervision is exercised and tenderness is restricted; in extreme cases, this can become abusive.
? The permissive style: the father says, “Do what you want, handsome son?”(100% sensitivity and interest). The level of care is moderate to high, with little control. There is no consistency in the application of discipline rules; all children’s desires and impulses are accepted.
? The carelessness style: the son says, “Where’s Mom/Dad?”(0% demand and firmness and 0% sensitivity and interest). These parents do not have the necessary commitment to their children and supervision is absent.
? The Democratic style: the father says, “Now do you understand why it’s so important that you obey the rules?”(50% demand and firmness and 50% sensitivity and interest). They are usually very loving parents, who exercise moderate control and promote social skills. They generally follow the requirements for reasons and respect the independence of their children.
All studies agree that children whose parents use the style of democratic education, that is, that they have moderate discipline, a lot of communication, use logic to obtain cooperation and give good examples, do it better in the short and long term.
These children are adaptable, independent and collaborative. Research has also shown that these children are less sensitive to the negative pressures of a group and know how to choose good friends. They have good self-esteem and respect others. Yes, it sounds like a dream, doesn’t it?Who doesn’t want to have kids like that?
The truth is that while the style of democratic creation is the healthiest and most effective, it is also the most difficult to implement. Because it requires a lot of time and energy from parents; maybe that’s why many choose one of the other styles.
Parents with a non-conflicting temperament can opt for a permissive style. They do not establish rules or administer discipline. They are “all love and understanding”. Superficially, it doesn’t look so bad. After all, no one likes to be “the bad guy,” especially with a child. However, the results are not always so good. Studies show that children in this type of education are the most in addition, they reveal a link between an overly permissive creative style and addiction, crime and promiscuity. The irony of it all is that many of these children come to believe that their parents don’t like them.
What about authoritarian style? He probably heard him say, “My father was very strict and didn’t give me much love, but I did well. According to Dene Garvin Klinzing, a professor at the University of Delaware, the child’s result is not only about parenting style, but also about his own temperament. If the child has a positive temperament and an open mind, he or she can flourish despite his or her circumstances. However, it has many more chances of success with good reproduction.
Children whose parents are authoritarian learn early not to tell their parents about their concerns and are therefore more influenced by their friends. They are often frustrated and rebel against their parents’ values and beliefs. In addition, a Boston Medical Center study found that children of authoritarian parents with extremely rigid conceptions are nearly five times more likely to be obese than children of more flexible and democratic parents.
Of course, we all agree that any kind of creation is better than being absent, in fact studies also indicate that the children of negligent parents are the ones who have the most problems in their development and also in their adult life, have little control over their emotions and find it difficult to build and maintain healthy relationships.