For various reasons, there are people who make the following maxim their life plan: “I was born to suffer and I will not rest until I achieve it. “There is an unknown impulse in all human beings that drags us into the abyss.
Unsurprisingly, we are the only species to stumble more than fifty times on the same stone, the only one also capable of obsessively clinging to what it damages: a painful memory, a love that hurts, a drug to get sick.
- Although almost no one consciously recognizes it.
- Suffering attracts us.
- We are like the insect approaching the flame.
- Not realizing that you will be devoured by it.
- It’s not “masochism” as it’s called in popular language.
- It is these pulses of death that inhabit us as strongly as the pulses of life.
There are recurring behaviors that help us in our task of suffering, habits that guarantee us continuous misfortune and that we treasure as the beggar takes care of the wound that allows him to get a tip, here we will explain how to achieve a guaranteed misfortune in just five steps.
No matter how miserable you feel at work: save it anyway. Never, listen carefully, never risk changing jobs. Wait, you can always have more. Now stay every day and don’t spend too much money, just enough not to starve, don’t forget to criticize those who spend more than you. Oh! Don’t forget to imagine every day what your life will be like if you end up sleeping in a homeless shelter.
Organize a routine rigid enough to make you feel stuck and feel like you’re stuck in your boring life; so that he not only gets bored, but also annoys others. If it’s too crowded, there’s nothing better than sitting in front of the TV for hours or shopping with your credit card to get everything you don’t need (so you’ll have to regret it at the end of the month). If you’re not unhappy enough, start a good fight with your family, partner or friends. Nothing better than a fight to aggravate boredom.
Delete the verb? Be in your vocabulary and replace it with the verb “to be”. That way, he won’t be depressed, but he’ll be depressed. He won’t be distressed either, but he’ll be an anxious individual. It’s not fun to address your problems if you don’t advertise, so take advantage of any conversation to show your pathologies to others, carefully highlight your flaws, weaknesses and unhealthy traits, so you can get others to support you in your goal of being the most unhappy of mortals.
Remember that every human being is evil until proven otherwise, no matter how friendly, kind or sincere they seem, you know they have bad intentions and their apparent good humour is just a facade, it is not enough that you know it, you must also inform the world. Speak ill of some when you are with others; and the others when you’re with them. That way, everyone will be warned. And, of course, you don’t have to keep that feeling that some call “gratitude. “What are you going to appreciate? Life suffers from dying soon, and many studies indicate that grateful people are much happier, so avoid it at all costs.
If you follow these tips one by one and practice them daily to the letter, you will soon come to the misfortune you want, being unhappy is not easy, so you have to make a real effort if you want to achieve it.
Image courtesy of Ana N R.