The fear of being alone, of having no contact with other people, is inherent to the human being, as social beings we must be surrounded by other people to feel satisfied and to develop, satisfactorily, many of our abilities. Relationships with others nourish us, enrich us and, in a way, are necessary to achieve well-being.
However, this behavior becomes a problem when it becomes impossible to lead a normal life without companionship, either because of the absence of a partner or by living in another country, loneliness, even if it is common, can become unsettling until we suffocate. Let’s take a look at this.
Fear of staying alone can limit personal growth
The fear of staying is based solely on the belief that they feel unable to perform an activity that involves loneliness, reaching even limits in which the person cannot even take care of himself and desperately seeks a business, a circumstance that is also known as self-phobia or “fear of oneself”.
Fear of loneliness is usually associated with external agents; in children, this may be associated with fear of separation, when they are unable to understand that their parents will not leave, that they will only remain separated for a short period of time.
In adults, fear of loneliness usually appears with the loss of a loved one, a romantic separation, etc. , events that lead to the appearance of such fears due to a deep sense of abandonment and low self-esteem.
The first step in overcoming the fear of being alone is the examination of conscience. It is a fundamental requirement to understand the process we are going through to act on it. This is often the most important step, because we have many methods of defense, including denial.
Denial can be helpful in avoiding our fears in times of great stress, but we cannot isolate this part of ourselves. Therefore, understanding what is happening to us is the beginning of the process of overcoming.
In order to work with fear it is important to recognize it, but it is also very important to accept that it is part of us, this much more complex process is accompanied by forgiveness.
We cannot allow guilt to overwhelm us, when fear, among other things, makes us grow. If we can find this value in fear, we will make great progress in the process of overcoming. As Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung once said: “ToWhat Do you deny, what do you submit to?What do you accept transforms ?.
Every fear has a source, a cause. It is important to know what the origin of this emotion is to weigh the possible solutions and above all what they mean. Fear of loneliness is generally linked, as we have seen above, to separation, distance, loss, etc. In fact, it is often related to other emotions and aspects such as the following:
Identifying the cause may seem like a simple process; However, often pain distorts our reality and complicates the process of overcoming, so it is important that we take it into account so as not to ignore how we feel and work on these emotions.
Overcoming our fear of loneliness does not mean abandoning it, we must understand that loneliness is necessary and positive in our lives, if we look at it from the right point of view, it can become a refuge to connect with ourselves.
To achieve this goal, we can use the partnership. Therefore, if we associate loneliness with positive elements and meanings, our fear will gradually disappear. In addition, loneliness can represent the beginning of a stage of self-reconstruction, in which we have decided to prioritize personal care.
Loneliness helps us understand each other. It brings moments of peace that we can enjoy alone, which can become unique and special people.
As we have seen, loneliness is good for our emotional health, in addition, we can consider it important to remain in this state, so it is relevant to seek loneliness, even on a day-to-day basis, to recover the energies that we lost during the day.
A walk in solitude, watching a movie you love, going out to dinner alone, etc. Everything goes to succeed in this moment of solitude that we so desperately need.
Sometimes fear of loneliness can become a serious problem that results in depression, anxiety and even emotional dependence, so it’s important to find a specialist and talk openly.
Remember, you’re your best company. Without you, you wouldn’t be who you are. This may seem like a no-brainer, but we often forget that we are our best confidants and that only we can understand their perfection, the only essential person in your life is yourself.