When we do something that we are passionate about and put a lot of pressure on ourselves, it is common to feel anxious to succeed; However, we often fail to achieve our goals. That’s when we have to face self-criticism, because we are the first to judge ourselves negatively by our failures.
When we want to change our behavior or other problems related to our appearance, the activities we perform or our interpersonal relationships can fall victim to self-criticism, especially when we want to achieve our goals and avoid possible failures. implicit self-demand that can lead to destructive self-criticism. In such cases, we strive to be desirable to the world, demanding more than we can give.
- Self-criticism taken to the extreme can have negative consequences on our mental health.
- It can also negatively affect the way we relate.
- As we expect to meet many expectations.
- Often.
- These expectations are even non-existent.
- So.
- If it’s so harmful.
- How do we deal with this self-criticism to love ourselves more?.
Understanding that the pressure we feel comes exclusively from us and is complex and painful at first, people around us probably don’t have exaggerated expectations about us, but we constantly think about their opinion.
We must understand that this kind of thinking involving others comes mainly from our insecurity and, at the same time, from a feeling of being perfect, the fact that we constantly criticize ourselves about personal success, appearance or quality of our relationships only intoxicates. us emotionally and mentally.
This mechanism can easily become a vicious circle: we can judge ourselves negatively, criticize ourselves, that is when we must learn to distinguish between constructive and destructive criticism: if criticizing ourselves for minor issues is a toxic attitude, criticizing this dynamic is a constructive way of realizing that we are not doing well. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and use them to learn.
Human beings are social beings, so most of our actions involve others, so that the social structure works needs cooperation and acceptance, so one of the greatest fears is not to be accepted by others.
Not being part of this structure causes a lot of anxiety in people who are very demanding of themselves, we have to train to understand that not everyone will accept us and that it is not a problem.
No one is constantly happy, nor does he always feel that his successes feed him. All people go through cycles, affected by internal problems, such as hormones, or external, such as interpersonal relationships. It’s very common to experience emotional ups and downs, bumps in our daily lives, so we shouldn’t judge ourselves so harshly if we’re in a bad time.
When that happens and we have to deal with self-criticism, we have to think about what we are going through that day, this week or that month, this bad experience affects our achievements and our way of life, so we must keep it in The Mind as the cause of our discomfort. In addition, looking for the reason for this self-criticism will also give us clues about the existence of this need hidden in our behavior.
When this happens to us and we feel that, despite identifying the cause, we continue to feel sad or angry with ourselves, we can do this exercise, if we go back in time and think about all the things we have done well, the rewards or pride that our loved ones had at a successful time, our mood will improve, because we can see ourselves in similar situations.
The key is to dedicate our time to what brings us happiness, because this type of activity will require less effort and its fulfillment will be assured.
Performing tasks helps a lot to face self-criticism by giving us reasons to love and value us, choose a job that fills us with happiness, staying active or relating to positive people will help in this regard.
No one is going to love us as we can love each other, we need to find happiness in ourselves, in the acceptance of our whole being, with our virtues and flaws, we are the only ones who know how to make us happy, and this is something to enjoy and appreciate.