Grief is experienced by people in all walks of life and occurs in response to a terminal illness or the loss of a loved one, whether a human being or a pet. The duel goes through five stages, which were first proposed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler-Ross in the book “On Death and the Process of Death”, which are presented below.
Denial is a way of dealing with the impact of the fact. The stage of denial helps us survive: the news is overwhelming and life loses its meaning. Doubts arise about how to proceed and we wonder if we can go on living.
- When we accept loss.
- Questions arise and.
- Without realizing it.
- The healing process begins.
- Denial begins to disappear and over time feelings begin to emerge.
Anger is a necessary step in the healing process, the more anger there is, the closer healing is, many other emotions arise, but anger is the emotion to which we are most accustomed, this has no limits: we become angry with others, against ourselves, against our loved ones and even against God.
Under this feeling of anger there is a lot of pain, it is normal to feel abandoned and anger is the temporal force that helps us endure loss and feel better, the greater the love for being lost, the more intense anger is.
In the face of the loss of a loved one, we think of a negotiation, we want the person to come back and get their life back as before.
It’s a way back in time and negotiate with pain, we think we could have done it differently and we feel guilty, we’re able to do everything not to feel the pain of loss.
After negotiation, all attention is focused on the present; feelings of emptiness and pain appear more intensely, it’s a phase that seems to last forever. This depression does not characterize mental illness; is the right response to a big loss.
Loss is a very depressing situation and depression is a necessary step in this healing process.
Acceptance is often confused with the idea that we are doing well despite what has happened and that we accept the fact that the loved one is gone forever. To accept is to recognize this new reality and learn to live with it.
As we begin to live and enjoy our lives again, we feel we are deceiving our loved one. We can’t replace anyone. Life will be different without the deceased, but we can develop new relationships.
Grief is a personal and unique experience, and each person lives it in a different way; there is no better or worse way, life can and must continue to live. Everyone has their own time; the important thing is not to become a bitter, hard, bright person in the eyes and not to close your heart to receive the affection of the people who have stayed by your side.