To recover from psychological abuse, we must first treat a traumatic experience that has undermined our self-esteem, so we must avoid blaming ourselves, because mistake is never made by those who trust, who give everything for a relationship. Crime is the person who lies, the narcissistic and crazy person who does everything through manipulation, blackmail and psychological abuse.
If we stress the importance of not taking responsibility or taking full responsibility for what happened is because it is a very concrete fact, when a person finally manages to get out of an abusive relationship, it is very common for himself or some member of his environment. think and why hasn’t you left that person before, how is it possible to be so blind and not see everything that was going on?
- “The way is to calm the mind and make her look at herself realistically.
- A mature and balanced mind that knows how to lose.
- A humble but not stupid spirit.
- An open mind to the world.
- Vigorous and with feet on earth?.
- – Walter Risas.
It’s not that simple. Psychological violence is not easy to unmask because its mechanisms are often very subtle and at the same time sophisticated. You also have to add another ingredient, not least: love. Because we cannot forget that whoever loves is stubborn, confident and committed. That is why these mechanisms are not visible to the naked eye, and if perceived, the brain applies very complex strategies to dispel doubts, to dispel a dense fog that prevents the person from seeing clearly what is happening. Past.
Until we finally do, because in the end we are fully aware of what is going on, because sooner or later, when we look in the mirror, we no longer recognize each other, the person who seems reflected is practically the shadow of who we were. .
The cycle of psychological abuse often functions as an addiction. There is a punishment-reward system in which we are trapped. In an instant, they give us immeasurable attention, the most incredible caresses, they are detailed and passionate; Then there are the demands, the coldness, the humiliation and censorship that leaves the aftermath.
Affection is linked to abuse in an infinite chain where one settles as one more piece of this machine controlled by the aggressor. Abandoning this dynamic is not easy. Also, don’t think that by ending this relationship, we are ending suffering.
Many people, men and women, who finally manage to get out of an abusive relationship, innocently think that with this courageous approach it is over, they think that after this decision everything will be better, that after reaching the bottom of the well, everything will suffer a sudden improvement and that the recovery will be immediate, but it is not.
As we have said before, in order to recover from psychological abuse it is necessary to reinterpret our status as victims, so that it does not occupy our full conception of ourselves. Abandoning guilt and helpless behavior, in the long run, this can make the traumatic condition chronic. The victim’s identity takes away our power and weakens our understanding of ourselves.
In this sense, we will talk about some of the approaches and strategies that need to be exercised.
You are not a victim, you are a brave person who must recover from a traumatic past, for this you must concentrate on the present moment and take the reins of your life, you are responsible for your own life, and responsibility means that you are “The one who knows how to react to situations” Therefore, forget to feel guilty and own your reality.
Recovering from psychological abuse involves, as we have said, learning to be responsible for ourselves at this new stage of our lives, when we go through this step, is it common to feel anxiety, fear, bewilderment?the answer is “calm. “
Take it easy, understand that no one will rush you back, understand and assume that every healing takes time and therefore there is no choice but to go at your own pace, listen to yourself and accept all your emotions. Gradually we will control everything around us.
After an abusive relationship, it is common to accumulate anger, to feel distrust, to have a negative image of ourselves because we feel victimized by something that we should have left as soon as possible, to avoid these feelings it is necessary to apply a positive approach to those around us.
To recover from psychological abuse it is necessary to have positive control of reality, we must apply a constructive approach where there is no lack of resources, support, openness to the external environment, providing us with appropriate therapies and views that allow us to return to a brighter and brighter ‘I’.
We can all get out of the cycle of abuse, and we will not always emerge unscathed, of course, but we can emerge strengthened by building a much more dignified, persevering and precious image of ourselves.