Fighting emotional dependence is not easy, but it is not impossible, to break the chains that unso together with another person, set limits and seek our own activities and moments are strategies that will help us gain autonomy in relationships.
It is important to know that during the first months of a relationship it is normal to count the minutes to see the other person and wish to spend as much time as possible with them, this disappears when the passion phase begins to fade to give birth of a mature love.
- The problem arises when the desire to be with each other becomes a necessity and being alone or doing projects without the other becomes a nuisance.
- In such situations.
- Emotional dependence appears on the scene.
That’s when we start to stop being ourselves to satisfy someone else’s desires and expectations, do we chain ourselves to her and the relationship and finally become invisible, what can be done to combat it?
As much as we agree with our partner in many respects, others will inevitably be totally different and cause disagreements.
It is not possible to agree on absolutely everything: we may like to walk and our partner does not like it; Maybe we’re motivated by strength sports and prefer aerobics?
The important thing is that these differences are respected, because being in a relationship does not mean sacrificing our independence, our tastes and our likes or our opinions, let alone being together all the time.
A relationship is much more than being egalitarian and casual, it’s about connecting, respecting, accepting and growing together.
However, for emotionally dependent people, fear of abandonment and loss of another person can lead them to limit their activities and ultimately limit their entire world.
The case is that this, which initially seems harmless, has a negative impact on self-esteem, so it is recommended not to give up what is appreciated and what the other person does not engage in.
In addition, having this intimate and personal space also allows us to fight one of the most common beliefs in romantic love: gaining autonomy in the relationship does not mean loving each other less, but taking care of yourself and cultivating what makes us vibrate, without relying. on the other hand, no one to do that.
Sometimes, when we have a relationship, we meet other people who are committed to those of us who have a friendship. It is very positive and rewarding; but what about the singles friendships we put aside when we meet our partner?
Many people leave their friends because they don’t want to leave their partner, especially those who are experiencing emotional dependence. The problem is, it’s not very healthy.
If we think long term, we will see that this attitude can have very negative consequences: do we no longer care about this friend who has always been by our side?What happens if the relationship ends?
Thinking that the end may come is difficult, but the possibilities are there. Do we not have a guarantee that what we have with the other person will last forever? Another of the beliefs of romantic love. Therefore, not taking care of our friends can leave us alone and without support.
It’s always rewarding to have people who are there, no matter what, who appreciate our business and who share their experiences. What is not acceptable is simply being at your disposal when we don’t have a partner.
Emotionally dependent people need to be more independent to realize that there is a life beyond their partner. Although they put everything next door, the relationship can sometimes be broken. Instead of giving themselves time and valuing friendships that have been neglected, these people often re-establish a relationship, further increasing the couple’s dependence.
One of the greatest beliefs that undermines the well-being of a relationship is the narrative that “we are one. “
When you are in a relationship, to fight this belief, you have to look like a team made up of two people who share life, but who are not one, that is why we are different, but with a common path: the relationship. .
According to all the beliefs that develop around relationships, the “Are We One?” That it can seem so innocent, even affectionate, can become very dangerous.
In fact, in some situations, we don’t know exactly where the boundaries between individuality lie, and gradually merge into a relationship underpinned by irrational beliefs, while we get losed.
We all need to learn to gain autonomy in relationships. Although many people already do, look around to see how many others don’t.
Some may do well as a couple when that autonomy does not exist and allows them to live the relationship better in this way, but for emotionally dependent people, that approach does not work.
All they can do is make bad decisions while losing their self-esteem along the way?