Throughout our lives we live painful situations or circumstances that remain in our memory and that we cannot forget. The death of a loved one, a broken heart, a failure at work?these memories often influence our behavior and the way we are.
“If it’s not in your hands to change a situation that causes you pain, you can choose what attitude you’ll face with that pain. “
? Viktor Frankl?
But if you stop thinking about your life, you will realize that in one day you live many pleasant situations. A kiss from your son, a call from someone you haven’t seen in a long time, eats your favorite candy and reads an exciting book.
Life passes fast and this speed makes us forget some precious moments of our daily life.
Cherish these moments and try to remember those feelings when you are going through a difficult time.
Some scientists at the University of Birmingham and Cambridge have published a study in the journal Nature Neuroscience on the brain mechanisms responsible for “forgottenfulness and memory. “
An MRI system studied the brain activity of a group of volunteers, who were asked to remember some of the images shown to them, and with this technique they were able to perceive at the neural level what memories had been forgotten.
Dr Michael Anderson, one of the authors of the study, said: “People are used to thinking that forgetting is passive. Our studies show that people are more attached to their memories than they think. The idea that remembering can cause forgetfulness is surprising, but one can have a selective memory and even make a mistake.
Therefore, it is we who control our memories and forgetfulness, so here we propose three simple steps to control our negative memories.
We must understand that we cannot change the past, but that we can build our present and our future. Live in the present accepting your past; If it hurts, leave it behind. Build a guilt-free future and enjoy every moment of your life.
Even painful memories lead us to learn. Reflecting on the lessons provided by these memories helps us associate a negative memory with learning for our future.
Do we win sometimes? Do we lose sometimes?
? Robert Kiyosaki?
Forgive others and, above all, yourself. We can enjoy exciting new moments when we decide to forgive and move on. We all make mistakes and there’s no point in blaming us for that.
Finally, we offer easy-to-practice techniques to help you forget sad and negative moments.
One of the simplest and most useful resources is writing. Writing is a therapeutic resource and we can understand many things by writing negative memories that go through our minds. Write automatically; don’t think, let words flow on paper. When you’re done, you’ll find that you feel so much better.
Argentine psychologist Walter Riso suggests in his book “Manual not to die of love?”A technique to forget an exee, which is called the “stop technique”. Every time you remember your ex, clap and say aloud. “stop. ” Our confused thoughts stop and give us a break. As Riso says, it’s not foolproof, but it’s a relief.
Mindfulness is another very useful technique to relax and control our thoughts, memories and feelings, it can be defined as a meditation technique, where we put all our attention in the present moment, without judging, with acceptance and curiosity.
In addition, meditation is an intellectual exercise that aims to achieve a state of relaxation, focusing on an object, a thought or ourselves, through breathing. There are many meditation techniques; some exercise concentration and others exercise mindfulness, such as mindfulness.
The practice of mindfulness shows us that a state of mindfulness and awareness helps us reduce stress, objectively evaluate situations, exercise our resistance to everyday events and develop creativity.
So put your bad memories behind you and enjoy life with optimism.