Aggression is one of the least understood and least managed instincts, in general this has a negative connotation, however, are you part of it?The survival of the team, so it is essential. One of the situations in which this dilemma of appreciation arises is when we decide when to complain and when to leave it.
We often wonder if, when we complain, we are hypersensitive to something that is not worth the effort, or if it really is something important that we cannot let go. It is not easy to reach a conclusion, as it depends on a subjective assessment which, in turn, often depends on our mood and not on objective reality.
“For no reason, does the sea complain about sailing again?Seneca-
The dilemma of when to complain or cannot be more relevant than it seems at first glance, when a complaint needs to be filed and not done, we open ourselves up for people to step up and when we complain about something that has no merit, we can open up an unnecessary conflict. Both facts could be decisive if they involved an important situation.
The question is: what criteria do we have to apply to know whether to complain about a situation that causes anger, discomfort or frustration? The first thing to consider is something that is implicit in the question posed above: it is not always valid to file a complaint, since be it personal or corporate.
At first we can say that the complaint is indisputable when
Just as there are criteria that guide complaints, there are also others that give us clues about situations where there is no reason for complaint. The first is when someone inadvertently causes us discomfort or discomfort. There was no intention of harming, but due to some circumstances, the victim was accidentally beaten. Then why are you complaining?
It is also not appropriate to complain when what ends up being affected is our ego or our vanity, for example, when we are not invited to participate in a group event that we hoped to be invited to or when we are not treated like kings. , but there is no abuse. In these cases, discomfort occurs through a narcissistic wound that we must overcome, rather than claim.
One of the cases where we never know if we should complain is the occasions when we have done someone a favor and we expect that person to return the favor in one way or another, and never promised us, if there is no prior agreement, everyone has the right to return the favor or not. It also depends on whether you decide to make the delivery to the person or not.
When we decide that it is more appropriate to complain, it does not mean that we want to start a conflict, the conflict exists because the situation in which one party acts at the expense of the other has been reached. Which we shouldn’hacer. es to go into aggression to fix the problem.
It is always better to complain when the discomfort is not in full bloom, if we have been hurt it will cause us frustration, at the same time it generates an anger that can be very unfair, but that many times we cannot measure or manage properly. The best thing you can do is try to calm down before you complain.
The next step is to clearly state the complaint. Tell you what you are not comfortable with and why. Include how our rights or agreements have been violated. Request or demand an explanation and, if necessary, an apology or compensation for the damage caused. All of this can be done without anger. There is nothing like serenity to solve these kinds of difficulties.