In our day-to-day life we can encounter countless jealous, immature, paranoid, childish and selfish personalities, which are undoubtedly what we commonly call toxic people.
This type of personality can have many peculiarities, but it retains a common characteristic: it does not provide or generate anything positive for a relationship of love, friendship, family or work.
- Toxic people are characterized by the destruction of any attempt to create healthy and respectful bonds between the two parties.
- They attract and facilitate bad vibrations.
- Because nothing satisfies them and.
- Above all.
- Everything disturbs them and they end up absorbing us psychologically.
- So that we take actions that can only be favorable to them.
“It is not weeds that drown a good seed
but the negligence of the farmer?
? Confucius?
Psychologist Albert J. Bernstein, author of “Emotional Vampires,” warns us that the most complicated thing about the relationship with these types of people is that they steal our energy without giving us time to breathe and be aware of this situation.
Bernstein points out that they are characterized by being specialists in building relationships with a high degree of ”absorption” and in this way, they are true masters of the art of drunkenness. Hence the name.
As a result, it becomes difficult to identify them at first glance, without realizing the complexity of their personality, until, after spending time with these people, one ends up repeating the same negative emotions and sensations: apathy, exhaustion, frustration and stress.
A common thing in our society when we talk about these kinds of people is that we often create a different perception of reality, denying that they are “emotional vampires”, especially when it comes to our partner, friend or family member.
Even when we talk about these situations, can we blame ourselves?Because we unconsciously consent to the situation and think, “Is it mine?”Is it my fault?; thoughts that only lead us to maintain and intensify a toxic and sick relationship.
Accepting such discomfort will only cause others to lose your respect, knowing that they can take advantage of you and abuse your trust.
Several social studies, highlighting the work of the French psychoanalyst Dominique Barbier, “The Factory of?”Perverse Man,” they are giving us a scientific explanation of why we live as a society in a prosperous context for the expansion and growth of this type of toxic personality.
“Toxic personalities are also contagious and contribute to the spread of a kind of social paranoia,” Barbier explains. On the other hand, psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Marie-France Hirigoyen confirmed in an interview with El Confidencial the social theory that “success in life must be a good manipulator”.
All this leads us to use each other as mere instruments that, when not used to achieve certain personal goals, end up being ignored.
However, to enjoy an optimal quality of life, we must avoid getting to this point. In addition, it’s also important to consider the following signs that may reflect that you’re facing an emotional “emotional vampire” socially and psychologically:
1. They have a high psychological capacity when it comes to detecting the fears and ghosts of the people they choose as victims, they can make you believe that with them everything is possible and therefore easier to manipulate, in this way they know how to perfectly adapt their behavior according to the victim in question.
2. They can turn around in a situation with great skill, perfectly performing a false victimization: make you feel that you are the executioner and she is the victim.
3. They are experts in transforming reality through lying and double language, they can combine the use of insults and adorable flattery in the same sentence, in this way they control the speech and thought of the listener.
4. No respect the autonomy of others and impose their own personal criteria.
5. Your personal principles change depending on the goal you need to achieve.
6. They usually don’t feel guilty at any time
7. They are people with a great capacity for mental strategy. They are not very creative, but constant in achieving their goals and resources.
8. They tend to show some inconsistency between their behavior and what they say or verbalize, they probably avoid altruistic judgments and values, but when it comes to acting, their actions are selfish, thinking only of their own interest.
I will not say goodbye to you without first reminding you that when we relate to these types of people, it is necessary to be aware of the importance of empathy and try to understand our environment at all times, to offer unconditional love and take into account. Keep in mind that we are all beings. Human beings with different and unique lives, which lead us to act one way or another.
The responsibility to try to live and feel healthy and full of yourself and the world is in your hands.