Disagreements exist and are normal. Some are treated more or less rationally and do not grow, others, on the other hand, give rise to harsh phrases, sharp voices and hurtful offenses, in these cases many wonder how to reconcile after a great discussion.
The issue may be more complex than it seems, because it is never possible to undo the fact or deny what has been said, there is still some of this unease on both sides, but when the relationship is valuable, the path to reconciliation must be found after a great discussion.
- “There is no way to reconcile until you recognize each other’s dignity.
- Until you see their point of view and record people’s pain.
- Do you need to feel the need?-John M.
- Perkins-.
Sometimes the conflict arises simply because something was said at the wrong time. At other times, it’s because there are already inadequate standards in the relationship. Either way, these tips can help you figure out how to come to terms with a big discussion.
If the discussion was too loud and hurt feelings, it’s best not to try to fix everything quickly. Are things probably still hot? And it will be difficult to react calmly to any word the other says.
Taking a certain distance helps stabilize emotions. At first you always see each other’s error, with the days the common thread is that we also start to see our own defects, that is, some time and distance are factors that help to expand the perspective of the problem.
It’s very important to think about what exactly happened before the discussion. Were there any factors that changed the mood?Analysis of this identifies possible external elements that influenced the conflict. If you were tired, hungry or upset about something, you can just get carried away for a bad time.
On the other hand, if everything was calm and seemingly normal and yet if a strong conflict has started, you might think that the issue is more substantial, so it is good to identify all the feelings involved. Fear, guilt, repressed anger or similar feelings. In this way, it will be possible to find the way of reconciliation.
The next thing is to find the other person to start a dialogue, you have to do it at the right time. It is not advisable to speed up processes so that desire reconciles quickly after discussion. You should read the other person’s signs and see if he’s still very hurt or if he’s already stabilized his anger.
First, you have to tell the person you want to talk to her to clarify what happened. If your answer is reluctant, it will surely take a little longer. If you agree, if possible, it is best to look for a place that is not usual, which is quiet.
Basically, you need to indicate how you feel and how you feel. Talk about what the other person’s attitudes or words made you feel. Just refer to your feelings. Do not try to guess or attribute feelings to each other, it is the responsibility of the other person, to which you must listen attentively without interruption.
If you realize that everything happened simply because you’re motivated by impulses, it’s a good thing to analyze the patterns of the relationship, is it very common for that to happen?Why is there no control over emotional reactions?What can be done to give more mature treatment to emotions?
The next thing is to validate the other person’s feelings and take responsibility for them, that is, it is appropriate for each person to express to the other that he understands his feelings and that he regrets having hurt him, it is also important to recognize which part of the responsibility is his or hers in the situation.
Mutual forgiveness is a covenant that both people must be willing to respect, i. e. the commitment of the will not to fall back on the mistakes that caused the discussion, it is desirable that this forgiveness be reciprocal. Maybe one of them was more aggressive, but to fight, you always need two.
If a similar situation is repeated, it is necessary to review the models in which the relationship is maintained, often, without realizing it, we introduce inappropriate ways of dealing with others, this is a deeper case and you have to look at it carefully.
Sometimes the path to reconciliation after a great discussion is relatively clear; others, not much. In the latter case, constructive dialogue may not be sufficient and may require additional processing.