We all have our own personal history. We may not always be proud of everything we have done or even ashamed of certain things; we may not want to talk about certain things out of shame or to avoid being judged by others, and rightly so. At the end of the day, not everyone can accept other people’s past.
This is particularly delicate when it comes to romantic relationships, it is not strange that, despite the emotions triggered at the beginning of a relationship, over time, prejudices or difficulties to accept the other’s past, especially their sexual past, begin to appear. . But that’s only part of it.
- Why is it so hard to accept the past of others?We all have our experiences and we know that the past continues in the past.
- Why wouldn’t it be the same for others?If we are able to leave the past behind.
- If we are able to change.
- Why do we not accept the rules?for others too?.
Many people find it difficult to accept the past of others because they themselves have regrets and doubts about their past, we have not been able to give up our past or forgive ourselves something, and that is why we do not do it with the other. , even if it is not easy to recognize.
I mean, there’s something about each other that reminds us of what we want to leave behind and we don’t know how, something we’d like to forget, in this way we punish the other for our mistakes.
Forgiving ourselves would not only allow us to live more comfortable, but would also help us communicate better with others, giving us the opportunity to grow together and live a fuller and more fulfilling life.
When it comes to accepting the couple’s sexual past, other elements come into play. One of these ingredients refers to jealousy, which often accompanies insecurity, and can also be ‘low self-esteem or self-confidence’.
On the other hand, for many people, discovering their partner’s sexual past can cause many of their dreams to crumble, because that past somehow tarnishes their ideal relationship or plans. Some people think their dreams can’t come true or they don’t feel safe when they think the other person already has their story. A story they feel that no long as they try, it can never be surpassed by the current one.
This is because we tend to grow with an idealized image of love and, when we are attracted to someone, in the end what falls in love is the very idea of love, which is what we have already built in our minds. But building a relationship isn’t about finding someone to suit our minds as someone casting for a movie and making the necessary changes for the actor to fit the role profile, it’s worth noting.
Added to this is a fundamental ingredient. Many people are not able to accept the past of others for fear of what others will say. This happens in both romantic and social relationships. This fear of others’ reaction can cause us to erect a barrier to avoid certain problems.
But it’s just a mind game, an excuse not to accept reality, not to face our fears and our ghosts. We cannot live thinking always of the outside world, renounting our freedom and our individuality.
We cannot evaluate the other thought about what others will think, as if we were all part of the same thinking mind. You must feel free and give the other the opportunity to show their true worth.
You can’t change what happened, but we can change our vision of the future. This is true for you and others. That’s why it’s so important that you care about yourself.
Everything in our history makes us who we are, all our experiences, including all the pitfalls, failures, mistakes, bad decisions, everything they did that hurt us, made us grow, made us stronger, even in misfortune there is a chance to be better.
It is very difficult for us to accept many aspects of the past from others that are not embarrassing to the other person, in fact, the person can even be proud of it or did what he wanted to do, we just don’t agree. or they don’t fit our values or our idea of the future.
Nobody’s perfect. You remember that when you look at yourself. If you don’t want others to judge you for something that doesn’t fit social models or stereotypes, don’t do the same with them.
In any case, his judgment is nothing more than an opinion on something apparent, and appearances deceive. If you want to live a more complete and interesting life, you will have to overcome this and give yourself the opportunity to see beyond.