The life cycle indicates that at a certain age it is normal to leave the house.
Children grow up and, at some point, make the decision to take a new path independently. Although this is part of life, leaving the birthplace of the father and mother usually causes what is called “empty nest syndrome”. Parents.
- But what to do when the kids leave home?How to revive with your partner after all this time?How to avoid feeling “old” These questions often accompany people who begin to suffer from the “empty nest”.
- A metaphor for what happens to birds and their homes.
Thus, empty nest syndrome can be defined as the set of negative and nostalgic thoughts and feelings, such as the feeling of uncertainty, sadness or loss of the meaning of life, by parents, when children leave the house. , are alone, after a long time caring for and educating their children.
However, these feelings are generally normal and fleeting; the problem is when they perpetuate and become more chronic over time, without a good adaptation to the new family situation. In addition, we also have to deal with other factors, such as being more aware of the advent of “old age”, menopause or andropausia and constant memories.
In this case, on the one hand, it is important to talk about what happens to parents when their children leave and, on the other hand, what happens in relation to their marriage.
This is not to say that parents are bad people and not happy because their children have married or become independent, but sometimes find it difficult to deal with the empty house, with fewer people living there and routine changes.
On the other hand, if we define the average age of 30 years at which children usually leave home to start a new family or gain independence, it means that three decades have passed since the last time the couple were completely alone (in case they continued together So a lot of water passed under that bridge ?, as is popularly said.
Then the couple rediscovered, relived a bygone era and may not even remember or a new step to go, this may be the solution or the incentive to the feelings that appear, because both are much more mature than at first, when they had no children.
Therefore, starting to have a routine without children is a task worth fulfilling with joy, not with sadness or nostalgia. It is true that at first it is difficult, but it is the “law of life”. In fact, at one point, the parents also had children who left home to get married, for example.
The umbilical cord is cut at birth by the baby, but there are also other bonds that bind us together and are stronger. The habit of treating children as eternal children, for example, makes things difficult in case of change. .
Here are some recommendations that can help you overcome empty nest syndrome.
? Take a new perspective on the situation: instead of focusing on the negative aspects of the situation, look for the positives. For example, you can think about your children’s well-being; if they’re okay, so should you.
? Strengthen your relationship with your partner: It is time to strengthen the partner through activities that could have been put off, rediscover and do things together.
? Express how you feel: it’s always good to verbalize what we feel, and even share it with your loved ones, this can help us see that we can overcome what we’re going through.
? Do the things you love: sometimes we put off the things we want to do because of the daily demands, maybe it is time to start, this will help you to think about something else and you will find that life goes on.
? Improve your relationship with your children: Maybe the fact that they’ve left home serves to have better communication than before, for example.
It is important to remember that the relationship with children will not end because they have left home, but will develop differently, as in any other relationship, so that it lasts it is necessary to continue to build and promote it.