Couple discomfort is fairly common situations that occur for several reasons and can trigger large conflicts. To overcome and control anger resulting from conflict, it is essential to identify our feelings and the feelings of the other.
Before determining how to control boredom in the couple or how to deal with it, it is important to know why one gets bored, what is the origin of couples’ discussions.
- Couples usually discuss five main topics: money.
- Sex.
- In-laws.
- Home and work-related issues.
- And family education (having children).
- But boredom actually occurs when one of the couple’s members realizes that the other doesn’t care what he or she feels.
- And that the pain caused by this disconnection causes anger.
- In this sense.
- Anger would be an expression of fear and anxiety in the face of fear of not connecting with each other.
- A survival mechanism.
A 2012 study on emotional communication during a partner conflict, conducted by Keith Sanford, associate professor of psychology and neuroscience at Baylor University, found that couples are very good at reading their partners’ emotions during discussions. The problem is that the meaning of these emotions, especially anger, is not always obvious.
Sanford discovered that when a conflict occurs more than once, couples express anger at him, no matter how they really feel, and regardless of whether it can generate more conflict, the situation becomes a difficult trap to escape.
Sanford also discovered that when one member is upset, he will most likely forget that the other may be sad, even when he is upset. Other previous research reveals that the expression of sadness unieste the parts and allows the couple to overcome their anger. In other words, if sadness is expressed during the conflict, it is easier to resolve it. The problem is that it is very difficult to notice sadness when anger is also expressed.
When couples have conflicts, it’s important to be very clear about the purpose of the conversation, which most couples don’t have.
Being upset and provoking a discussion without being aware of one’s feelings can lead to anger in response to feeling less vulnerable, making it difficult for the other to understand the true feelings and sadness of the former, and also react with anger. cycle of constant discussions, which do not lead to conclusions.
However, if a couple’s members take a moment to try to identify the other feelings involved and are willing to express those emotions to make the changes, the outcome will be different.
Image courtesy of Vic