Children need to learn to solve their problems for themselves, in fact problem solving is one of the most important skills for our children’s future, so if we help you in this task of overcoming we will do you a great favor. Don’t wait for the child to reach adolescence, so the child has to start dealing with his or her problems in preschool.
By interceding for our children and trying to solve most of their problems, we raise dependent, weak, and irresponsible children. The reflection of this overprotection is clearly manifested in everyday situations, such as doing homework or managing conflicts with peers.
- However.
- The problem with many parents is that they don’t fully understand what this troubleshooting process is like.
- They solve them as they can or know.
- Period.
- They don’t know exactly what process they’re using and they can’t explicitly describe it.
- Not bad.
- It just means they’ve assimilated the process.
- But they don’t know how to explain it.
Children face many problems every day, including problems ranging from academic difficulties, problems with their peers, problems with their games and sports, difficulties completing a task, or even trouble choosing the right clothes for a special occasion.
When a child solves a problem, their self-esteem and self-confidence improve, which will certainly make you more independent and confident.
On the other hand, when a child doesn’t have the skills to solve a problem and feels a little inferior to it, he enters a process so as not to face problems, for example, if a child is abused by his peers and doesn’t know how to do it. react, instead of dealing with the situation, you will say that you do not like school, study less or complain about health problems so as not to be exposed to the same situation.
Other children who are unable to solve problems will choose not to recognize that they have options, will react impulsively without thinking or even violently.
Children should start by understanding that they have a problem. Sometimes they’re not aware of him or they don’t dare talk about him. The child must recognize that he has a problem, as Ludwig Wittgenstein said, if a problem can arise, it can also arise. He probably talked about philosophical and transcendental issues, but the approach is equally valid for the problems of daily life.
When children identify the problem, it’s time to look for solutions before choosing one. One way they like it a lot and what adults also use is “brainstorming. “It consists of listing all possible solutions, however crazy they may seem. The way of thinking is fantastic, because precisely these absurd ideas, through a process of reflection, can guide us towards a good solution.
Once the child has recognized several options and the possible consequences of each, it is time to decide which is the best, at this point, we should teach the children that if we choose an action and it does not solve the problem, we can try something else. In this sense, they should be encouraged to continue trying to solve the problem until they find a suitable solution.
When problems arise, unless it’s a very dangerous situation, we don’t have to rush to solve everything for them. If you find that your child is struggling to overcome a difficulty, let him or her act alone even if you suffer it. Value your enthusiasm and courage, whether the child solves the problem or not.
Only when you realize you’ve tried and don’t know what else to do, or that you’re going the wrong way, can you help him, but not to solve the problem instead, but to help him recognize what he is. is happening and finds options.
Another important aspect to avoid is punishing or rebuking a child when he or she is unable to resolve a conflict or when he or she signals that he or she has a problem, for example, if he often argues with his siblings or draws bad grades, what we can do is help find the problem and find solutions not to feed the source of conflict or difficulties.
When we allow children to assume the natural consequences of their decisions, they really acquire problem-solving skills. To take into account the consequences of a decision is to allow the child to make his choice and face the positive or negative consequences that this entails. the decision may involve.
When a child or teen is affected by a free decision, we can take the opportunity to discuss what happened, why it happened, and what other options they would be.
However, if we don’t let our children start experiencing the real world, they won’t learn to make good decisions because they will feel completely immune.
Remember, then, that they will only learn to make decisions if we let them go through the whole process, from defining the problem to managing the consequences of their actions.