We see concerned parents, others very stressed, others who are far from their children’s education and report this task to the media, to school or, if possible, to nannies. The truth is that the guidelines of a more traditional teaching have been challenged, giving way to a wide range of educational models that, in many cases, generate great confusion. Among the consequences of this confusion is hyperpaternity.
Hyperpaternity is born as a perversion of an educational model in which it is argued that it is necessary to increase the attention and care that parents give to their children, this includes parents who overprotect their children, give them much attention and pamper them beyond what is necessary, without knowing that they limit their independence, their freedom and the development of their autonomy.
- Hyperpadres ensure the academic success of their children and suffer the frustrations that may occur to them.
- So far from doing them some good.
- They raise overexcited.
- Overprotected and unsafe children.
We spent the time having “mobile” children, whom we did not know, to having choir boys, whom we adore. Eva Millet addresses this issue in a very didactic way in her latest book.
Hyperpaternity is the result of a standard educational model in more accommodative societies, it has appeared in the United States, where competitive anxiety reigns, transported to the realm of parenthood, American parents are immersed in a career whose goal is to make their lives. The child succeeds in life Reserve a place for the best kindergarten (before the birth of the child), the best university, the elite university, etc.
This includes early stimulation, with excess extracurricular activities and blank schedule. In addition, it contains little or no tolerance for frustration and confrontation with teachers who dare to question the wonders of their children. It is also common to pamper them with objects of all kinds, such as books, electronics, games, etc.
The perversion of this creative model, which requires greater attention from children, is based on constant attention and unscentable expectations that children will do, study, have or achieve, which is certainly not the best thing for children’s healthy psycho-emotional development.
Within hyperpaternity, we can identify different behaviors of parents:
It is exhausting for children because it involves hectic schedules, for parents because they are the ones who take them from one activity to another, talk frequently with their teachers, monitor their homework and do it with them, plan their schedules, including their friends. We are talking about parents with a very high level of stress, very stressed children too.
Children develop a high level of personal demand and low tolerance for frustration, are not allowed to fail, and must constantly overcome them.
On the other hand, some parents show their insecurity. There is an excess of methods and experiences that the child needs to live and this implies a stress that cannot be avoided, parents have doubts about what is best for their children and spend their lives trying to pamper them with experiences, opportunities and methodologies , as well as with other material things and new technologies.
The first thing to do is to relax and get out of the spiral. As parents, we can breathe and relax. Children don’t need perfect parents, they need peaceful and happy parents. Reducing children’s agendas means reducing parents’ schedules.
Parents should let the children play so they can learn to entertain themselves and manage their time. The game is vital for development, and with so much activity and stress, the child doesn’t have time to play, get bored and learn.
Parents need to learn to trust themselves and their children, let go of their hands a little, demand less, give up intuition and follow their development, strengthen them positively, congratulate them on their accomplishments and be emotional, so that children fall in love with life and learn to live everyday life, connect with others and manage their emotions.