“Can’t I stand to see my son get angry? It is a phrase often heard in childhood psychology consultations. However, it is critical that parents can act as external regulators of emotions and stay calm until their children can reach this stage independently.
In this article, we’ll show you some tips that will make the anger management learning process easier, and help you understand how your child’s brain works in these early stages and the role parents can play in helping children reach emotional maturity. .
- One of the most feared scenes of any parent is the tantrum: screams and kicks in the middle of the supermarket or in the middle of the street.
- Scenes that usually lead parents to feelings of guilt.
- Shame.
- Anger and.
- Above all.
- Helplessness.
- You may ask.
- “And now.
- What happened that made my son angry?”.
Why did this happen? Anger attacks are an expression of frustration and discomfort in children who are still at a stage of preverbal development and emotional maturity, which does not allow them to communicate in any other way, a situation that usually improves after age four. In words, we’re talking about a normal stage of a child’s development. In itself, there is nothing shameful about it.
In fact, tantrums serve as a starting point for initiating autonomous rabies regulation, in this sense, how the protagonists react to the situation and manage the child’s anger or frustration will be one of the keys to this learning.
Children’s tantrums can be very unpleasant: excessive intensity, inappropriate places, high frequency . . . It is possible that when the tantrum occurs, you also feel a growing sense of helplessness that also threatens to overwhelm your capacity for emotional control.
This is partly due to the contagious effect that human emotions have due to mirror neurons, especially if it is a loved one, as is the case with our own children.
In addition, children live in their small world, with their own concerns and illusions, so in our adult mind, it is sometimes difficult to understand why a child can be like this when he does not achieve immediate satisfaction of his desires. Logically, if we compare them to our problems from an adult perspective, they will be ridiculous.
In addition, it is important to ask ourselves what relationship we have with the emotion of anger, that is, how we handle this emotion, the intensity with which we felt it and even how our parents reacted when we had tantrums when we were children.
The regulation of emotions is learned, especially in childhood and adolescence, until these steps are taken, the prefrontal area of the brain, one of the main actors of this emotional regulation, continues to develop.
Until children fully develop their brains and learn to control anger, parents have an external supportive role to these emotions, i. e. the child’s main figures function as a benchmark for controlling anger they currently cannot bear. It is conceivable that this external checkpoint should reflect adequate regulation for the child to do so successfully on his or her own.
Here are some tips for acting when you ask yourself: what can I do when my child gets angry?
During childhood, we learn to regulate emotions like anger. There are certain critical periods when children are more irritated, partly due to some brain immaturity. Because they are not able to control emotions, it is especially important for parents to act as external regulators. without losing your temper.
“Can’t I bear to see my son get angry? It is a common feeling for many parents affected by the stress of these events. Besides, the fact that it’s hard for us to understand that children are irritated by “childish things”?makes parents feel particularly upset on these occasions.
At the moment, parents educate as models of anger control or helplessness and validating the child’s emotions. In addition, in this sense, it is important to allow the child to show his anger; it’s about taking control of your expression, not systematically keeping the message of energy and emotion for you.