I loved him until my self-esteem said “not so much. ” I dropped the head straps, removed the chains from my heart and even the high heels to begin with. Then I could see: you are not the love of my life, neither that of a day, nor that of a moment: you are only someone who made me believe that it was nothing, when I am really everything.
You are not for so much and I neither for so little? Without a doubt, it is a gesture of personal revolution, an act of courage and self-affirmation that honors us, but it must be admitted that not everyone has this psychic and emotional feeling. tendency capable of drawing a line between self-love and addiction. Between dignity and resignation.
“It is possible to hurt self-esteem, but never kill it. -Henry of Montherlant-
Do we know the word? Self love? It is high. That there are many books, manuals and courses that repeat almost like a mantra that “no one can build a healthy relationship unless they love themselves first. ” But knowing the concept does not mean that we know how to best apply it.
Self-love is not only built through or thinking about it, it is not a passive entity, on the contrary. Self-love is a state of absolute self-esteem that arises from actions that build our own physical and emotional health, it is a dynamic dimension that also goes through ups and downs.
We suggest a reflection on that
Astronomers comment that phenomena very similar to our emotional relationships take place in the universe, for example, there is a nebula called Henize 2-428 that, seen from the telescope, fascinates by its unique beauty and its particular mystery. In fact, this nebula is the union of two white dwarfs, two old stars in the last stage of their lives, withering.
But the funny thing about this couple is that one tour around the other every four hours, they wear a deadly but incredibly beautiful dance where they will eventually collapse. One way or another, we too, without being celestial bodies, have deployed this set of forces. . We know that there are loves destined to be little more than the dust of a memory, but we always feed them. We gravitate around this meaningless love, in those gravitational waves where self-esteem is suspended for the wind to take away.
Perhaps this love was no big deal, but until we realize it, until dignity weighs more than abandonment, weeping and dependence, we do not open our eyes, yet we must clarify: the cult of sacrifice should not be nourished. The universe can thus stifle our own individuality, our self-esteem, our unique and exceptional light.
Let us imagine for a moment self-love in a very concrete way: as a skeleton, ours, gives us support, strength, resistance and guarantees us a harmonious and correct movement to develop in the day to day. tibia or femur, we’ll need crutches or wheelchairs, we’ll be dependent.
This personal dimension requires exceptional life support. However, we know that from time to time it has its ups and downs, its wear and tear and the resulting pain, so it is worth considering the factors that are part of this recipe to keep it in “good condition”.
The first pillar is undoubtedly personal coherence, this is another term that many defend and do not apply much, because above all it takes courage, for consistency we mean the need to maintain a correlation between what we feel and do. Between what we think and what we express.
To live with intent is to understand that to be happy you have to make decisions, and not orbit erratically around others like a celestial body that will sooner or later collapse to disappear. Let us learn to shine, to have light of our own, a firmness, voice and a worthy and courageous heart to attract what we truly deserve.