I feel that I am not integrating, what can I do ?, there are many people who somehow spend much of their precious energy trying to integrate, be like others, be part of collectives, or even give up their own individuality to regain the sense of belonging. In most of these cases one fundamental aspect is overlooked: the exceptional side of being unique, different from the others.
However, there is one thing we are all clear about: there are people who suffer the weight of stigma, isolation, as social creatures we are, we need more than interacting with others, at the same time we want to feel something, someone. Without a doubt, we seek a minimal sense of belonging, safety and these roots to continue to grow in our personal project.
- So.
- While they sometimes talk about the importance of strengthening our individuality.
- Strengthening ‘magic’ to be different.
- It would really be a matter of knowing how to balance balance.
- We all feel this uncomfortable duality between who we are and what we need.
- Show the world to be accepted.
Therefore, well-being would begin by not losing the essence and meaning of oneself, the secret is to be accepted by people who make sense of us, being able to appreciate all that we are, with our peculiarities, our greatness and even our insecurities. .
“Since my childhood, I wasn’t like everyone else, I couldn’t see how others saw it, couldn’t I draw my passions from a common source?(?) -Edgar Allan Poe-
It’s hard not to feel like a stranger in this world. It seems that sometimes we go against the current, that we are stateless living on a stage where everyone seems to be delighted with the same melody, while we feel inspired by another. Perhaps we are like those fascinating trees, the jacaranda trees that bloom in a purple hue while around it the other trees only show the green color.
When I feel like I’m not coming home, I suffer (a rule as real as it usually is). The tricky part of all this is that we are talking about suffering that can easily become chronic. develops in childhood. For example, it is common to think that there is a problem in us, that in a purple tone, like the tree mentioned above, it is something negative, when in reality we all have shades that make us exceptional in the forest of life.
Dr. Murray Bowen (1913-1990) developed the theory of vital forces in the 1950s, observing how we develop emotionally and naturally at the same time.
When I feel like I’m not going anywhere, I can’t blame myself. Sometimes I can think that the world itself doesn’t make sense. This is exactly what was demonstrated in a study conducted at the University of Michigan by dres. . Gregory Walton and Geoffrey M. Cohen.
In this work it was observed that people suffering from exclusion?Stigmatization?, Who constantly suffer from “uncertainty of belonging”, show a decrease in their motivation, their academic and professional performance and, in turn, have an increased risk of eventual suffering some kind of psychological change.
Often this idea of ”Do I feel like I’m not going home?” It has its origin in the family. Our education and the dynamics that arise in these microscenarios mark us from childhood with the idea that “we are not normal”. For example, we are not normal in the eyes of our parents because we may not be as bright as our brothers and sisters.
Because we are more rebellious, because our afitions, preferences and passions do not correspond to the family project, in this way we can carry this mark for years, reducing our social skills, our self-image and our identity. Therefore, reinforcing these dimensions and improving our sense of belonging, we need to think about these ideas.
One of the most interesting contributions carl Jung has left us is his theory of individualization, according to this approach, one of our most important responsibilities is to awaken our potential, our individual consciousness, overcome fears and resistances, and express ourselves to the world as we are with safety and happiness.
This process takes time. However, before “wanting to integrate with others”, it is best to “integrate into oneself”. We need to promote self-ception, know who we are and what we want.
Have we all tried to fit in, force a piece into the hole of a puzzle. We immediately realize that there is no point in using force. Not when the shapes don’t match, not when the spaces don’t match the edges.
No problem if for a while we make our own trip alone. During this trip, we will simply celebrate ourselves. Sometimes, following the rhythm of a very unique passion or impulse, we end up finding our own “tribe”. This is where everything harmonizes, that we are accepted and valued for every tone, for every special corner.
Finally, if you feel like you’re not fit, the first thing you can do is reduce this discomfort. Managing fears, polishing insecurities and stoking your own sense of self-esteem and muscle self-esteem are actions that will help us find our place.