I have not changed, in fact you have never met me, you have forgotten many things, you have created love in your own way where I had to adapt, how flowers adapt to cracks in rocks. No, I haven’t changed, and in fact, I’m glad I’m not what you expected: fragile, without adequate light, and obedient?
You may know this image. Emotional relationship experts say most people have some kind of “ideal book” about what love should be. At this point, even Arthur C. Clark, a scientist and famous author of science fiction books, argued that most people fall in love with individuals who don’t exist, are just screens where they project dreams, illusions and, above all, their own needs.
- It is necessary to take into account this type of relationship based on inequality and false attribution.
- Is that sometimes there is another mechanism based on psychological projection.
- “I make you think you’re weak enough to control it and not to deal with my low self-esteem.
- “and my inability to build healthy and equitable relationships.
- “.
This is definitely a complex and interesting topic that we invite you to explore with us.
Erich Fromm said that mature love is one where there is a union in which the integrity and individuality of each member is preserved, this idea, whether we like it or not, is not always realized, in fact, it is curious to see how if many people have the desire to live together, they do it before they get to know each other fully, without discovering their emotional limitations , without identifying their fears and overcoming the fear of loneliness.
Maybe that’s why, sometimes, instead of?Life companion, do you wish to have simple “captives”, companions who are the roses of their thorns, the pillow of their voids and the breath of their discomforts. A situation where no matter what your loved one feels or thinks, because what prevails is that childish and tyrannical balance where what you need is quickly satisfied.
No link can endure with this inequality and this attempt at alignment. The projections that others want to induce in us undoubtedly respond to the needs of those who wish to adapt to their model, to their own mold of what they love perfect. should be.
However, no love is perfect, true love is what it is. And ‘let it be’, who does not seek to change because he loves us for all that we are, because it is reflected in the mirror, so he says the thought. and for this authentic complicity where your score and mine form the best of melodies.
Love should not change people, its goal should always be to allow us to grow to reach another vital stage of great personal balance, however, given the classic question of whether people can change at any given time, the answer is yes, and more. so in these traumatic emotional contexts.
Factors such as physical or emotional violence, blackmail, manipulation, or even disenchantment or even decay can do so?Many of our illusions, which disrupt values that we take for granted or that we lost those forces of our personality, that compels us to leave the vital territory in which we had settled for years.
That’s not appropriate. We must always fight for our identity, for the foundation of our values and for the flag of self-esteem which is the homeland of our essences and strengths. Is love? And “so be it”, respect individualities, as Fromm said, and therefore you have to choose “with criteria” these fellow travelers, taking into account these basic dimensions: