You think I’m weak, why me and not the others?Abuse is selective, or at least that’s what it seems to people who have already experienced some form of abuse. Abuse can come from our partner, friends or even family. Abuse can surprise us at any time and catch us completely off guard.
Violence can be both verbal and physical. This must be taken into account, since verbal abuse is perhaps the most widespread and difficult to detect, it is so subtle that sometimes we cannot know who the aggressors are, because their blows are their words.
- The first thing we need to understand if we don’t want to be abused is that we must learn to assert ourselves.
- Assertiveness is something that can be learned.
- Do we learn to assert our rights.
- We learn to make them respect each other.
- We learn to express what we feel?.
It’s very easy to say, but hard to do. And the attacker knows it, so he often uses situations to leave her completely stunned and surprised, so you don’t know how to act.
Until something happens a second time, you don’t know what action to take. You feel confused, maybe lost, and you’re so surprised by his reaction that you’re in shock. This is completely normal. Sometimes the situation is greater than you. These are diverse, multifaceted situations that you would never expect.
At this point, you have to think: will you respond or react to abuse?It’s two very different things. He thinks the important thing is not to get into the aggressor’s game, what matters is that he stops taking an interest in us.
For none of this to interest the aggressor, you have to know how to fight everything you tell us, so there’s insurance. Don’t let anyone use their power against us, don’t let them scare us, that’s the best we can do.
As we said, it is best not to play your game, so our relationship must be very important, because with it, the aggressor will know whether to leave us alone or continue. That said, consider some factors that will help you deal with an abusive person:
It’s a fact that some people are more exposed than others to aggressors. For example, some people are very resistant to verbal abuse, so much so that they are physically abused precisely for this reason. If you can’t prevent abuse, seek help! There are people who can support and help in this situation. You’re not alone.
Learn to say ‘no’, learn to know what you want, what you don’t want to allow, what you deserve . . . Safety itself scares aggressors. High self-esteem and unwavering security will be your best weapons for attackers to flee and stay away from you.
Images courtesy of Zhongwen Yu