The word self-esteem is fashionable and sometimes seems to be a magical way of understanding everything that happens to us, it is as if all problems can be explained by a standard phrase: lack of self-esteem, there is a kind of epidemic That can be summed up by saying that it is difficult to love oneself. Perhaps it happens for a clear reason: if you don’t love each other, you don’t know each other.
The key is in this inner voice that comments on all our actions, feelings and thoughts, it is this voice that judges, approves or disapproves. Sometimes we forget that this inner voice is built by ourselves and that, therefore, we can change direction when it is not constructive.
- We learn to see ourselves through the eyes of others.
- Therefore.
- If our parents saw us as incompetent.
- We easily integrated this classification and its synonyms into the voice that speaks to us and judges us from within.
- If our teachers thought that almost all of us are smarter than us.
- It would also appear within us.
- Dialogue.
- Etc.
The problem is that we forget something that goes beyond any voice: whoever has commented and continues to think about us does not know the truth, what they express and express about who we are probably has much more to do with themselves. that with us we use all our private lenses and everyone believes that what they see is what is really happening.
Lack of self-esteem is not only expressed as a sense of futility or incompetence in different everyday situations, you sometimes think that if someone expresses themselves cynically and points to their presence very strongly it is because they have very high self-esteem. But, in general, this is not the case.
Lack of self-esteem manifests itself in fear or fear of taking risks. You want to stay within the confines of the known, because deep down you think you won’t live up to the requirements of something new. This fear extends to your words and thoughts. You don’t feel able to express what’s really in you because you’re afraid of other people’s reaction. And at the same time, your inner voice disqualifies you: “It’s absurd,” you say. And shut up.
But lack of self-esteem is also expressed in other ways. For example, when you become a slave to an authority figure or a situation where you want to claim notoriety, you care a lot about what your boss, teacher or expert thinks or says.
So try to adjust what you say and do to please that person or group. Sometimes you also desperately need others to know you. Then you scream and start advertising, always depending on the others to get something.
There’s an obvious question not everyone asks themselves: do I really know myself?And it’s just that self-knowledge isn’t just about knowing that you love green more and that you hate apples, or that you want to get divorced and that you love football. The theme goes far beyond tastes and preferences.
Of course, it is very important to know what you like to taste, how you like to dress, what kind of meetings you like to go to, etc. This may seem like an exaggeration, but in fact, there are many people who don’t even know if they really like what they eat, are on a diet or are not thinking about it and have not yet discovered the same thing happens with these small aspects of everyday life like clothes, the mode of transport they use, etc.
However, in addition to learning to recognize what we like and don’t like, we need to question our perception of ourselves What do you think of your own body and why?How do you take care of your body, what do you think of your relationship with others?Do you know how you will react to different situations and why?
Perhaps in the end you discover a truth that you have chosen to ignore: you judge yourself by the way others see you and not by really reasonable parameters, the gaze of others is present in this inner voice that constantly makes you think negatively about yourself. What’s the best thing, a chicken or a duck?
The duck, the ducks say. The chickens, they’ll say the chickens. That’s the point. The duck must learn to be duck and make the most of its condition, the chicken has to do the same. And both should ignore the fox’s opinion, who can only see them as a possible dinner.