Cognitive psychology has taught us that our emotions are greatly influenced by how we think about what is happening to us.
In the scientific literature we can find many examples of inappropriate and erroneous thought patterns maintained by people, despite their lack of logic and usefulness and, above all, despite the suffering they cause.
- In this article.
- We will focus on one of these longer dysfunctional thoughts: arbitrary inference or divination error.
- Let’s look at an example:.
Carla started working at a major company in her city. It’s your dream job, but she’s not quite comfortable. He believes that his companions don’t like her and that they say bad things about her behind her back.
The other day she saw two companions whispering in a corner and laughing with laughter and realizing that every now and then they looked at her, Carla is thinking of quitting her dream job because it’s unbearable for people to say bad things about her!you talk bad, I could get to the boss and I could even fire you for it.
What’s our protagonist doing? He obviously draws conclusions that he can’t validate or prove in any way.
She thinks her classmates are saying bad things about her because she saw two people talking and laughing. Does the fact that two people are talking and laughing in a corner is enough evidence to believe they’re criticizing you?
But they are watching you from the corner! And what should he do ?, they certainly did because she too was looking at them as they laughed, thinking they were criticizing her.
Carla gets hurt thinking that way, this causes her enormous anxiety in herself and she’s about to make the wrong decision about that way of looking at things, creates the typical paradoxical effect so common in psychology: she’s so afraid of being criticized and losing her job, she’s the one who’s going to take the first step to quit and , definitely, lose it.
This story, with this illogical way of thinking, is more common than you think, people tend to look only at the navel, protect their ego with claws and teeth and draw early conclusions from isolated facts. this, of course, generates misconceptions and disproportionate emotions.
It’s very important to learn to think well!
Thinking correctly doesn’t mean being optimistic, positive and seeing the world in pink it would be worse!We would be wrong ourselves and, in the end, we would feel the impact in the same way.
To think correctly is to learn to see life through the lens of our own glasses, is to perceive the world as it is, without distorting reality, without creating stories that do not exist beyond our minds.
To be more rational and realistic, Carla should be more scientific and stop to consider all possible alternatives that could mean such an exciting conversation between two people.
They may remember something funny that happened at work, tell jokes or talk about anything that has nothing to do with our protagonist. It is true that there is also the option that they were talking bad about Carla, but we cannot let our impulses prevent us from considering other options.
First, because it would not be logical or rational to try to guess the thoughts of others. We’re not soothsayers! And secondly, because even if our choice was the one that corresponded to reality, it wouldn’t be as terrible as we usually think. What’s so terrible about getting criticism?But never enough to make a drama?! although that’s another matter.
So stop generating so much tension with yourself, you’re not a fortune teller!You must learn to hold on to real data and not get carried away by your own unfounded interpretations, those that are only valid after being tested, in the meantime relax and live what you have in front of you.