If you want to catch a butterfly, the more you chase it, the more it will slip out of your hands; However, if you let it go, it can naturally land on your shoulder. If we apply this famous phrase to real life, we could compare it to people who tend to put pressure on others.
Whoever chases and puts a lot of pressure tends to get the people around you to leave, to check this effect, ask yourself if they have ever had a friend or acquaintance who exerted excessive pressure on you and therefore preferred to lose contact with you. her.
- As a general rule.
- We don’t like to feel compelled to do anything.
- When we’re interested in something.
- We chase it alone.
- Too much insistence.
- Whether in the realm of friendship or romantic relationships.
- Often ends up making people want to leave.
For example, imagine having a friend with which we usually have contacts, but because of a situation of hard work, lack of time or need of individuality, we no longer want to know her, that’s where we realize the type of person we are. Dealing with.
If you can’t contact someone you care about, you can insist on contacting you again, but in a way that doesn’t restrict your freedom. A healthy way to act would be to make comments like, “What do you think of trying to find us one day, since we haven’t spoken in a long time?”I hope you’re all right. Let’s try to talk every day, do I miss you?”Can we book a coffee when you can?.
This way of speaking shows a will to reconnect, but without pressure or victimism. If there is no answer from the other party, the person should let the other party “fly” because it is clear that, for some reason, there is no will. or time to regain contact. When a healthy personality wants to get in touch with someone and realizes there’s no partner, they leave without pressure or discomfort.
Examples of phrases that could be uttered by someone who does not respect our freedom, with whom we have decided not to follow the contact:
Why don’t you write me some more?,?I haven’t heard from you for a long time, I don’t know what I did to you, but you’re really hurting me?,?I’ve been trying to write something down for a how long, but you keep dodging, “What’s going on?”, “I don’t understand this attitude of ignoring myself, we need to talk about it urgently.
Involving discomfort, asking for explanations and insisting on talking about urgency are pressures to try to blame the other when in fact the reasons why someone can’t stay in touch can be multiple, so jumping to conclusions and pushing doesn’t usually work well. .
Pressing does not retain anyone and can even cause the person to want to distance himself because he feels a loss of freedom, on the other hand, accepting the situation can cause the person to come back whenever he wants.
This is the example of good friends who do not always have very frequent contact, but who keep friendship without pressure and accept each other’s personal space, knowing that they are free to distance the therself when they need solitude or run out of time. The freedom to know that the will to disconnect for a certain time will not be taken negatively by the other is what most unies with people.
When we feel that our way of acting is accepted, this is the time when relationships become more confident, because we feel the freedom to distance ourselves knowing that this attitude is understandable, there is someone who is willing to take advantage of their business when possible, accepting that it will not always be so for different circumstances.
If you love someone, let them fly freely; Let life flow naturally and time will put everything in place. The person next to you will fly next to you voluntarily, without pressure or victimism.
The best recipe to attract people who want to enjoy your business: to make yourself known, to give your best, to demonstrate your interests so that the other person can take the next step. If there is stage, it is perfect; If not, give him freedom and go find another butterfly.
Image courtesy of Angela Marie Henriette