Raising children is not an easy task; they don’t come with an instruction manual under their arm. It is virtually impossible never to make mistakes in raising children, but we can do everything we can to avoid them as much as possible.
Many parents feel lost and don’t know what to do to re-edit a child they’ve already lost control of. In recent decades, we have seen a big change in the family environment, as well as in the relationship between parents and children. Children. This change was very relevant, as a greater recognition of the rights of minors.
- However.
- This has also led to a very intense controversy.
- In some cases.
- Over how parents should cope with the control and supervision of their children.
- In general.
- We have gone from an authoritarian model to a more egalitarian model.
- Characterized by a more ambiguous and open model.
- Ideas on how to raise a child.
As we have said, few parents complain about the lack of limits and not knowing how to control their children is that acting as parents is not easy in a society that demands freedom from those who are thirsty for it and who are not yet prepared. to make good use of it.
A child’s education goes far beyond meeting basic food and subsistence needs, creation also includes aspects as relevant as education in a climate of affection, support and respect.
This climate should facilitate the development of safe attachment relationships, the establishment of standards and discipline, the teaching of healthy habits and lifestyles, etc. All this without forgetting to maintain a balance between freedom and control, adapted to the age of the little ones as they age. The ultimate goal is for them to learn to self-regulat themselves when their brains are fully developed.
Not all parents instinctively know how to act and solve new problems related to their children’s education; in fact, there are many misconceptions about parenting.
Is it better to pretend I’m friends with my son ?,?Children learn only by force ?,? Discipline is the same as punishment, etc. These misconceptions are at the root of many current educational problems.
Three of the main mistakes in parenting relate to inconsistent rules, permissiveness and rigidity. Let’s look at them in detail:
Inconsistency is characterized by the lack of stability and consistency in the control, supervision and discipline strategies used, inconsistent parents change the rules in an indispensable and continuous way depending on internal or external factors (for example, the presence of the other parent).
In these cases, pedagogical orientations are determined more by the mood of the parent than by the child’s behavior, the problem is that there is no described plan to correct misconduct, this inconsistency can manifest itself in the following ways:
Excessive permissiveness and “letting it happen” can also be problematic. Children need a structured environment. They must have rules, rules of conduct, control and supervision on the part of their parents.
Excessive permissiveness can lead to feelings of confusion and anxiety in children, which can become a risk factor for developing long-term limit-setting difficulties.
This permissiveness can also occur due to lack of knowledge and poor parental involvement. Parents ignore the child’s activities, who their friends are, or what their school performance is. However, they may not know what their children’s desires, tastes, or hobbies are.
Rigidity or lack of flexibility lead to the use of a very limited set of educational strategies, which are applied indiscriminately to all kinds of inappropriate behaviors of children.
Excessively rigid and inflexible parents are unable to take into account the factors of the environment in which their children’s behavior occurs. They cannot use reasoning to adjust the intensity of discipline to the severity of inappropriate behavior.
In addition, overprotection can also be a form of rigidity; for parents, this can be a way to control the anxiety that occurs when they feel disoriented; for children, it can be a barrier to developing appropriate coping strategies; it can also lead them to develop insecurity and lack of self-confidence.
It is recommended that children have the opportunity to do things on their own, we should not regulate and control them in all situations, only in those that they cannot assume because of their age, in addition to their level of development, it is better to allow them to do things right or make mistakes and bear the consequences.
Being a parent, from a biological point of view, can be a very simple task, however, from a psychological point of view, this can be a real challenge, so if we avoid inconsistency, permissiveness and rigidity, we will be a little closer to being able to educate children in the best way.