Crumbs allow you to survive, jump from place to place in time, allow you to continue living, but only support you, resulting in your self-esteem and hopes. There are many people who settle for crumbs that have great sensitivity and talent, and many people try the whole cake without the slightest glimpse of decency and feelings.
They are people who complement themselves by creating toxic relationships: the sadist with the masochist, the selfless worker and the exploitative pattern, the prudent father and the son turned into a “little tyrant”.
- Do you think these models that have become dichotomies to be able to identify themselves in the most comfortable and simple way have come out of nowhere?Do you think some of us are born willing to settle for crumbs and others are still able to eat?all the cake?.
Logically, this is not the case. Neither the frenology showed that blacks had a brain with slits that predisposed them to submission, nor did whites have a brain structure that would make them teachers and therefore leaders.
Capacity is not revealed and the result is a cornered self-esteem diminished and diminished by fears that are actually mere shadows, thoughts of smoke that do not actually have any kind of parallel relationship, except the currents imposed by the people who have them.
Our crumbs to survive today are the hunger and uncertainty of tomorrow, it is not easy to detect when you have crumbs and when you have them, making you feel strong and complete, let’s assume the case of a woman who seeks love and constantly encounters men who lie. and those who, moreover, ignore it, giving them an irrelevant role in their lives.
This woman values love, the feeling of accompaniment, the intimacy of the mimos. You need a dose of this to ‘keep taking’. However, she gives so much and is so happy that she finally finds nothing. She finds a cientos. de of contempt, hears a beautiful phrase after many contradictory events, and sleeps with someone who knows less every day.
A lot of people think that giving love without expecting anything in return is nice. The Machiavellian part of this unequal emotional relationship is that by giving so much without receiving, we sometimes end up giving self-esteem.
He thinks that loving without asking for anything in return is different from surrendering without limit, until he’s dry and exhausted, with nothing positive to make up for, until you find yourself in a situation where there aren’t even hot nails to hold on to.
You do not need to make a contract to know how much you are willing to lose each time, it is not about predicting possible damages and losses, your self-esteem needs eyes wide open, ears that listen intelligently and a memory. That you know how to say what you just experienced with what you do not want to happen again.
His self-esteem is not just crumbs because it is not how it is formed, his self-esteem is satisfied with empathy, self-affirmation and the ability to be independent, aggrieved self-esteem is similar to that of a paid worker in a totally mediocre way, hours of uninterrupted work, without the possibility of living a dignified life.
Giving up everything, enduring contempt or indifference to please will never take you anywhere, this transforms us into an alternative element of emotions, someone who lives romance holding 90% of the round trip time and 10% of its positive side, for later. become a 100% exhausted person, with no strength or self-esteem to look for something that really fills it.
If you want your self-esteem to be protected and your life plans to be in sight and not adrift, don’t let others give you crumbs and see how you settle for and even show your appreciation, because you may have come to think it’s the only thing you can aspire to.
The result is a vicious circle: when a relationship ends, you will always be fragile and hungry, contenting yourself with crumbs here and there, never being able to taste all the cake because you have convinced yourself that you do not deserve it and the others do and seem to love it, for your comfort and your game. In the face of crumbs, indifference.