If you have to force it is because it is not your size, this statement is valid for everything that has to stay in some way, be it clothes or relationships, friendships, etc. , I imagine that the vast majority of readers will identify with Ante this situation in which you see a garment that you like, go ask and respond that its size is exhausted , so you order a larger or smaller size, see if you’re lucky.
Many times we try to create something that suits us and we don’t realize it hurts. Inertia, harmful messages sent to us by society, expectations, opportunities. . . All of this, translated into a dysfunctional relationship, can only have one result: pain.
- What causes this is lack of love.
- But not just any kind of love.
- But self-love in particular.
- It is a real triumph to open your eyes to realize that good feelings are never accompanied by submission.
Love should not be be begged or begged. If the person doesn’t like you, making an effort to love them is a guaranteed emotional suicide. You can’t expect a miracle to happen and love to appear. Even less can we maintain these expectations at the expense of our health and emotional freedom.
In this, the education we receive is very much to blame, for example, we are tired of films that promote addiction and attribute to any relationship the ability to overcome any kind of obstacle.
It doesn’t work that way. A relationship that squeezes you and hurts prevents you from growing and suppresses your ability to breathe freely, is almost as simple as if we drown, we have to get out of the water, now getting out of a tortuous relationship is not usually easy and scary ?
There is a beautiful reality about pearls that helps us illustrate how we can heal wounds born of a romantic relationship or forced friendship. Shall we see what it’s like?
The first thing to know is that an oyster that has not been injured in any way does not produce pearls, because the pearl is a healed wound, the pearls are the product of pain, the result of the entry of a foreign or undesirable substance into the oyster, such as a parasite or a grain of sand.
Inside the oyster is a shiny substance called mother-of-pearl, when a grain of sand penetrates it, mother-of-pearl cells begin to work and cover it with layers and layers, to protect the defenseless body from the oyster. As a result, a beautiful pearl is formed.
Knowing this, we can make this process ours in the form of a metaphor. Healing wounds isn’t easy, but it’s the only way to close a painful stage in our lives.
That the world is collapsing, that we are deeply moving, that we will not be able to stabilize our own lives without the presence of this person or this group of relationships that mattered so much?All these sensations are normal in situations of emotional adversity. .
However, this one? That so frightens us can serve to strengthen us, to illustrate this we will use the technique called Kintsugi that the Japanese use to repair broken pieces, which consists of recomposing with gold the broken ceramic pieces, so that It has been broken now becomes the most beautiful and solid part of the object in question.
If we use Eastern wisdom to understand this, we will understand that what made us suffer also gives us courage. In addition, the beauty of our wounds will depend on what we produce inside and how we work our pains.
Faced with this, it is good to make efforts to embroider with gold the tears of our clothes, accept the need to close the circles, say goodbye and not get too complicated trying again and again that we have a dress that is not right.
Trying to rewrite a book with a story that has been shown without a future on other occasions is a mistake, so we must be aware that a wound cannot heal if we constantly become entangled in it.
The scars may stay, yes, but we can always wear them with pride and, above all, in total freedom without anything s tightening us.