“I won’t change for you, will I grow up with you?
This phrase may surprise some people. Many people understand and accept that building and maintaining a relationship requires one of them to have to give up certain things in their lives. And more than that, “adapting” to our partner’s temperament, we have to change some personal aspects.
- We will not deny that being in a relationship and maintaining a stable and lasting relationship often requires giving up certain things.
- However.
- Everything has a limit.
- From the moment we are forced to change.
- We lose something in our being.
- A void opens up.
If there is a clear and indisputable principle when it comes to maintaining a relationship, it is that we must never allow our rights, our values to be vulnerable, which defines us. In addition, you shouldn’t require the person you love to change for you, to suit your needs.
Such a thing would, in fact, be unwarranted emotional blackmail. Let’s take a closer look.
We must start by clarifying something fundamental: relationships are not fixed and immutable entities, no one knows everything about us, parallel social relations, work environment, family, personal needs?
One of the most common problems that we face is the need to harmonize personal growth with the growth of the couple, in a healthy and happy relationship the two areas are united and interconnected, in what way? Each member respects, understands and promotes the fact that the person can have their own personal spaces to cultivate, grow and be themselves.
You could say that this process is actually a curious paradox, because at the same time that we work every day to be a unit in harmony, commitment and intimacy, in fact we also allow ourselves to remain two independent entities, capable of enriching. in their individuality to, in turn, bring this inner wisdom and happiness to the couple.
It is about promoting the individual growth of each member of the couple, knowing that with this we bring internal balance, self-esteem and personal satisfaction so that all this is invested in the ‘?Family arch? The couple.
There is no need to force the person you love to change, if, for example, I ask you to be less outgoing, to get less involved in social affairs trying to spend more time at home than it was, what I’m going to do is actually feed your frustration and your vulnerable people. Your interests.
Mature love is the foundation of healthy relationships. It is a conscious love capable of respecting and loving the other as it is, without ever having the will to force it to change. Perhaps we should also be aware of the need to develop relationships where this maturity teaches us that personal fears and insecurities almost always create the need to control the other.
“I hope the other person changes that aspect of your temper, because that’s how I make sure you don’t let me, that you still agree with me. “But we are not puzzles, we are not separate pieces with the obligation to fit perfectly. Its edges do not have to agree with mine, and its voids to fill with my virtues.
It would be better if we began to realize that we are all, in fact, imperfect creatures who seek imperfect beings to move hand in hand and grow daily, this wonderful process will certainly last a lifetime, but for now, we will grow individually. We will be wiser personally, as we grow up as a couple.