Over time this pain that is felt by the death of a loved one, by the departure of a loved one, by a disappointment with a friend, is diminishing, diluting, and we begin to remember the happy moments, the smiles, to feel the caresses of the images of the past.
Over time, days, years, our feelings soften and we make our memories.
“To remember a good time is to feel happy again. -Gabriela Mistral-
Brain-centered studies have shown that human emotions are born in the limbic system, a set of structures including the hippocampus and amygdala, among others.
From the limbic system a number of functions are controlled including emotions, attention, pleasure, memory, addictions, etc.
But when we are in love, feelings come from different parts of the brain, and for this reason, scientists found it difficult to find the exact place where feelings related to love are born.
In a survey conducted by scientists from Concordia University in Canada and the universities of Syracuse and West Virginia (USA), previous studies on brain activity associated with love and sexual desire were analyzed.
It has been concluded that the place where love is placed in the brain is related to the origin of sexual desire, but the two are separated.
Sometimes we see feelings as something dark that we can’t change because they don’t usually teach us emotional education, it’s very common to think that we can’t change how we feel.
Feelings come from the emotions caused by a certain situation or person, and emotions can be managed by emotional intelligence.
The term emotional intelligence was popularized by Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence”. Emotional intelligence is the ability to be aware of emotions and manage them properly so that they do not paralyze the relationship with others or with the world at large.
“If you address a situation as a matter of life and death, you will die several times. -Adam Smith-
Daniel Goleman encompasses basic emotions into six categories, which are:
One of the systems of emotional control is the Sedona method, which consists of quickly releasing emotions, it is about asking you five questions.
Think about what worries you, how you feel and let your emotions and feelings flow, allow yourself to feel everything you need.
It’s just a matter of knowing it’s possible
In other words, am I ready to do that?
It’s a simple invitation to release what you feel.
Remembering is a word that comes from Latin? Remember, formed by?Re? New and? Cordari?Heart. Therefore, remembering means going back through the heart.
When we begin to remember a person who is gone, a couple who has left us, we remember by our mind and heart everything we live, and we tend to remember the happy moments, the situations that made us smile.
A group of scientists from Birmingham and Cambridge has published a study showing that only we control what we remember and forget, and that forgetting is not passive.
To learn how to control bad memories, we can follow three simple steps that will allow us to continue with our lives and enjoy our present and future:
We cannot change the past, but we can change the present and the future, that is why it is necessary to leave behind the moments of the past that have hurt us and live the present freeing ourselves from all guilt.
We can learn from all life experiences, whether positive or negative. Our existence is a continuous learning experience, so look for what every negative memory can teach you and learn from it to continue your life.
Forgive others and yourself. It’s a way to put a limit on a negative memory and move on to fully enjoying every moment.
“I will feel less and more and remember more, but what is memory if not the language of feelings, a dictionary of faces and days and perfumes that return in the form of verbs and adjectives in speech. -Julio Cort-zar-