After many years, many tears and disappointments, I made the decision to return my Cupid.
He certainly doesn’t know how to make a good choice. Shoot your aimless arrows and make me go through impossible loves one after the other. So, from that moment on, I ask for a new serious and responsible Cupid, who knows how to choose my teammates.
- “Painting blind love is the madness of poets; Is it necessary to remove the blindfold and return it forever in the joy of your eyes?-Blaise Pascal-.
Throughout our lives we have couples who have us very well, more or less well or very badly, in these last two cases we have to think: what went through the head of this child with blindfolded and blindfolded so that we fall in love with him. This person?
Cupid is, in Roman mythology, the god of loving desire (its Greek equivalent is Eros). There are several versions of its origin, but the most widespread argues that he was the son of Venus, the goddess of love, beauty and fertility. and Mars, the god of war.
It is represented by a child with wings, blindfolded and armed with a bow, arrows and carcaj.
Dr. Frances Cohen, a psychologist and psychoanalyst, has studied the theme of love from an organic perspective and says that at the beginning of a romantic relationship, our brain deactivates the mechanisms that make us see the defects of the other individual.
The chemical elements that develop during the courtship phase produce a feeling of euphoria that, in addition to making us feel very good, disables the instincts that would allow us to evaluate the other person.
But you can’t think that love is just feeling, reason must have a very important function.
Love must be thought of, in addition to meaning
It takes a lot of willpower to maintain and maintain a good emotional relationship, love alone is not enough.
When we walk down the street, we are on the bus, we are introduced to someone at a party, sometimes we feel a particular attraction for a certain person, an arrow, a love at first sight.
An arrow is an intense attraction, an overwhelming passion for someone who changes our body, our emotions and generates a very intense well-being, both in the presence of the person who attracts us and in his absence.
Stefanie Ortigue, a professor at Syracuse University, conducted a study that showed that a person’s symptoms originate from the brain.
Dr. Ortigue demonstrated that the feeling of love activates twelve areas of the brain that work together, releasing high doses of dopamine, oxytocin and adrenaline, and all these components generate a great feeling of euphoria.
Therefore, Cupid’s arrow (or, in fact, love at first sight) is not only possible, it also has a very important chemical component.
Argentine psychologist Walter Riso, in his book “Manual to Not Die of Love”, proposes 10 principles of emotional survival, which are:
Lack of love hurts a lot, but you have to learn and retire. Enough to remember this uncontainable passion we feel as teenagers; we must feel what is causing us now: nothing.
There is no miracle pill against love, we must endure pain with our strength.
The relationship with a lover and the relationship with a lover who becomes her husband or wife are radically different, and we must think carefully about whether we are prepared to accept these differences.
One of the most important questions you have to ask yourself is: can you trust the loyalty of your lover who now shares his life with you?
Many people in the world find themselves in romantic relationships in which one of the two people who make up the couple lives in eternal indecision, in such cases if we want to avoid suffering it is better to get away as soon as possible.
It is about living relationships in a healthy and distant way, it is about being free, loving oneself and, at the same time, sharing life with the other person.
In some cases, at the end of a romantic relationship, we look for someone else to replace the one we’ve lost and it’s not a good idea, it will make us unhappy and the other person can suffer.
We must go through our mourning phase, learn and enjoy loneliness and, only when we feel good, begin to connect with others.
If you think you have to feel pain to make your partner happy, then you have a problem. This is often a self-esteem issue where it will be practical to work for healthy and happy relationships.
You have to ask yourself a question: does your partner love you the way you want to be loved?
If you are not feeling well or if something concerns you, talk, contact, inform the other person, or that person may not be right for you.
In the first phase of courtship, as mentioned above, we tend to idealize our partner and not see their flaws, but a healthy love must be realistic, see the flaws and also the virtues.
It is possible to feel love at any age, but when there is a very large age difference between the couple, the relationship is complicated because the two people are at very different times in life, it is advisable to evaluate all these aspects and be very realistic.
We also have to learn terms, which we don’t like, what makes us feel bad. It is necessary to develop a “wisdom of no”, that is, what we want from love may not be clear, but we will know what we do not want.
So it’s not about switching to Cupid, it’s about changing ourselves so that we can love and love others.
“We say that love is blind and Cupid is painted with a headband. Blind, yes, because you only see what you like? – Ralph Waldo Emerson-