Defending our own rights, what we think is right or what we think we deserve is useful and practical most of the time, this relationship is known in psychology as self-affirmation and is very common for patients with low self-esteem or interpersonal problems. use it for therapeutic purposes. The truth is that if we were always passive and sinking, according to everything, the world would be quite stagnant. Another problem is the battles in which we are immersed.
To achieve certain things, sometimes we have to “hit the table”, show our non-compliance and try to show that our point of view is also important and valuable. So far we certainly agree, the problem is that the situation is often out of our control and that we are fighting, it should not even exist.
- Human beings like to feel important and.
- Above all.
- He likes his desires to be fulfilled in his own way.
- We tend to tell each other absolutist and dogmatic phrases like “there should be no queues in supermarkets.
- Cashiers should be faster.
- They should be.
- “You’re useless!” or that ‘the nurse should have been nicer’.
- In many cases.
- We find ourselves in absurd battles.
Constants are nothing more than requests that we address to the world and others, and in the end they end up leading us to a very unpleasant emotional state, we are usually anxious or angry and therefore act in a way that benefits no one. Far from solving our problem, we’ve turned it into a real battle.
Everything is in our head, because there is no reason in the world for things not to be as they really are, since they already are, and I alone, by a magical and false thought, transform something desirable into an obligation to the other and a necessity for me.
Then the reader will think that, in order not to provoke pathological emotional states, we must settle for everything that appears, and that this puts us in a position of puppets, who move according to external facts, nothing further from reality.
The secret is to develop tolerance for things that are not as useful, or almost nothing important. Whether or not there’s a long queue in the supermarket box is insignificant, we can’t label it a disgrace. But it makes us angry, are we, are we tense and anxious?
This tension often leads us to have many childish attitudes that certainly do not lead us anywhere, and in addition, we will always be rejected by people who are not interested at all if we are in a hurry, if we are nervous or angry.
To learn how to tolerate anything that bothers us, we can follow the following tips:
So don’t get carried away with emotions in a situation you don’t like, you have to be aware of that and learn to choose your own battles.