Having trouble expressing irritation? In this article, we will show you what you can do to overcome this obstacle.
Are you one of those people who have trouble expressing their anger?If your answer is “I never get angry,” it’s not very reliable. As a psychologist, I see every day people who are angry but can’t express themselves. They even try to make a mistake and think they’re not angry when they really are. Different studies show that anger has cultural components, but it is a normal feeling and is part of learning and emotional growth.
- In that sense.
- The most important thing is what are you going to do with that anger.
- For example.
- Knowing how to express anger is necessary for good emotional health.
- I mean.
- You have to “be good” psychologically.
- Therefore.
- In this article we will discuss why people cannot express their anger and the possible consequences of not showing their discomfort or irritation.
To do this, I will list the phrases I have heard in the consultation and what I have found behind them in each of these situations, this could be a good starting point to identify the reasons why we cannot express anger and what can be done. to overcome this obstacle.
If you’re one of those people who says, “I can’t express my anger,” you can’t say. This fault may be a manifestation of the following:
There are several books dedicated to self-assertion; however, most of them remain theoretical. When you enter the practical field, in order to express your anger, you need to know what you want to say, how you feel and how you have to say it.
Preparing to express anger is the key to success. Imagine that your anger is outside of you, do an exercise in externalization and objectation of fear or anxiety. Ask yourself: what is the meaning of my anger?In most cases, the answers revolve around insecurity, doubts about oneself, not facing the situation and missing the opportunity to grow.
The first question to ask is, “What does this anger tell me?”It is very important to find the real reason for this anger. Whether it happened for reasons of selfishness or “for no reason,” simply because things didn’t happen. Go the way you wanted, it’s normal for you to prove it.
Basically, you know that you have no reason to express this anger and therefore to avoid doing so. Not expressing anger in these circumstances is a protection mechanism, so as not to fall into ridicule and regret for what you said or did.
In this way, when you are angry, it is essential to know the reasons for this discomfort. Ask yourself, “Do I have any real reason to be angry?”Of course, you have already realized that the strategy is this: I get angry, I say nothing, I analyze and, if I have clear and reliable reasons, I say what I think, if you stop to analyze the reasons for your anger and really feel them, it will instill security and strength to get rid of this irritation.
If you really have reason to be angry and feel guilty, something is wrong, that is, you have to accept that being angry does not make you a better or worse person, if you are angry, you will have to express it. productively and adequately. You have to work your self-esteem, because in this case your reflex (which prevents you from expressing your anger) is: “My anger is not so important, I better say nothing. “
Everything you feel and experience is important enough so that you can assume it and transmit it, you are responsible for expressing your discomfort and you do not have to feel guilty about it, guilt is a feeling that must be managed, because it anchors it in not doing , in immobility. The best thought and interpretation you can make of anger is: “My anger must be shown, and if I do it right, I have every right to do so. “
Finally, at this moment we are faced with a situation of acquired helplessness, you have learned that no matter what you do you will not be able to change your life, if you feel identified with this kind of difficulty when expressing your anger, you need to get to work. It may be necessary to change everything in the relationship with the people around you, with your partner, with your family or your work.
In this sense, Dr. Martin Seligman explained that the impotence learned is unhealthy, psychologically corrupts you and impairs your capacity for change and development every day, so you must first validate the reasons for your anger, justified or not, whether you express in this way, if all these tasks are covered and well performed, will give you a solution to what makes you feel the helplessness you learned. Start working now: you won’t regret it.