I like people who don’t judge a book by its cover, I love people who have the curiosity, desire, passion and patience to walk every page of this novel to discover its essence, its history, its magic, because the most beautiful treasures transcend the boundaries of a face, a way of dressing or a shy attitude that sometimes hides a surprising personality.
We know that it is easy to say this, that it fits a slogan and that it is ideal for it to be placed in a self-help book, however, if there is one thing we all realize is that prejudices and stereotypes come from the Factory in many minds. That’s when the classic says that the beautiful is good, the attraction is noble and youth is a value that must be preserved to continue living in a hypocritical society.
“Inner life needs a comfortable home and good food. -David Herbert Lawrence-
It is not easy to see the essences of a person at a quick glance. To do so, it is not only necessary to take time and destroy many of these distortions that we consider our own, because the majority of society accepts them as valid.
What is needed above all is the will, is the imperious desire to go beyond appearances and phrases made that contain no exceptions, because we often find ourselves in contexts where everyone finds it difficult to look like something that is not, sell virtues. they don’t have, or hide real beauties that hide under tons of makeup and bulimia.
Are these behaviors as harmful to health as they are unhappy, is it necessary to explore the essences of others and also your own to find the perfect balance between who we are and what we show, between what we feel and what we externalize?
We often hear that the devil is in the details and angels in the essence. It’s as if the most important things are slipping out of our sight or our attention, always as busy, excited and distracted as we are. However curious it may seem, it is precisely at this point that the root of the problem is found, the answer to why almost 90% of people judge immediately, based solely on a person’s appearance: he needs to have a quick look. how to react.
Our brain is a born savior. We know that the metaphor of the computer is quite worn out, but whether we like it or not, this perfect organ works like this: it processes data, draws conclusions and generates a response.
So, faced with an appearance that is not common to us, either because the person is foreign, comes from another culture or has a different skin color, is it more likely that our brain will call it “unreliable” and invite them discreetly?us to get away. The ‘different’, for many people, remains the ‘dangerous’.
However, our brain has already come a long way to achieve this type of response and reaction, our education, past experiences and personality are some of the factors that have modeled this filter, these factors are the main responsible for this predisposition to be taken by distortions. rather than leaving aside stereotypes to show more openness and therefore more interest in the person in front of you.
True angels reside in the essences of people, that’s where we need to go, able to expand our perceptual filters, taking the power of our perceptual distortions, stereotypes that society places, and arbitrary labels that only closed, inflexible, limited-vision spirits often apply to their day.
So far we have talked about the need to see beyond what our senses capture, to immerse ourselves in the smell of being: in this universe that exists beyond skin, clothing and face, however, few people manage to make this journey without first diving. themselves in the essences. Something that, if this does not happen, will not allow us to show ourselves to others in a true way, without distortions, without lies and without having to resort to the mask of appearance.
“We are happy when our interior coincides with our exterior. –William Butler Yeats–
Being able to do this isn’t an easy task either because these are, in fact, defensive barriers. We need it to disguise our insecurities, fears and even possible traumas. In our turn, we are also not able to disassociate ourselves from these gender roles that lead us to follow paths already traveled.
Women must be beautiful and stay young forever. Men, in turn, must demonstrate professional security and strength. That is why it is very difficult to be ourselves in a world that tells us beforehand “how we should be”.
It was Carl Gustav Jung who, in his day, said that nothing is as difficult as this individualization, in which to connect and live according to our own essences. This journey to the realization of unity? said the Swiss psychiatrist – this requires several battles in different castles and against different dragons, who, throughout history, have always built our complex and sometimes selfish community.
Thus we can see our inner essences to live in harmony with them, respecting those of others. The road is worth it and the result is certainly worth it, too.