“The world has fallen upon me!
Was he the perfect husband?
- Emptiness.
- Despair.
- Anger.
- Frustration.
- Pain.
- Anguish? It is the mixture of feelings that arises when the infidelity of the couple is discovered.
- The intensity of the pain is usually related to the time we spend together and the duration of the betrayal.
- But discovering a recent betrayal of your partner doesn’t mean it hurts less.
- No.
- But whoever spends more years with an unfaithful person realizes that his life.
- Summarized at that moment.
- Is reduced to a few years.
The one who devoted years of her life to her partner and dedicated herself to her children, in a way, has stopped living, women born between the 1960s and 1970s were raised to sacrifice themselves, to carry on dreams and goals of personal development. , her development has been to play the role of wife and mother.
He who has dedicated the best years of his life to a relationship, in the face of infidelity, suffers a loss of support for his present and future life, when the spouse leaves the relationship, the wound opens and the grieving process remains indefinite. Betrayal will depend on social, family and personal resources. The desire to call your ex, or ask him to come back and sometimes want to argue, is natural. It’s a human reaction.
Some people, having discovered their betrayal, decide to stay with their spouse, but without understanding or acknowledging the harm done to the relationship. To think that with a quick conversation everything will be solved is a way of seeing things selfishly and shortsightedly; is to see things from a point of view. Trust doesn’t recover simply by saying “I’m sorry. “
To live a lie is to maintain a double life, in which, on several occasions, it was decided to generate meaningless discussions, in order to meet the lover.
Is it possible to find a relationship after infidelity?It’s hard, but not impossible. The first and most important step is to recognize the damage that has been done to the relationship.
We need to understand what factors contributed to or led to the fact of treason, however, it is important to say that not all betrayals have justifiable causes, the person who deceives always has the opportunity to end the relationship, the ideal is to resort to divorce before. Cheating.
Who deceives three people: himself, because it is impossible to have intimacy with another person, for months and years without feeling anything; Spouse and mistress: Usually, if one person agrees to have a relationship with another, knowing that they have a long-term relationship with another person, it is because they expect the pre-existing relationship to end.
Human beings are not robots. It is impossible to turn off feelings by sharing intimacy, at one time or another, for so long.
It is an absurd thought to want the betrayed not to express his feelings and pretend that nothing happened, let alone what happened. We have to face the facts. There are no excuses.
Trust is built on attitudes and not words. Forgiveness is active and not passive. Flowers or chocolates are not the cure for the wound. The cure won’t happen in a week or a month.
In my professional performance I have seen how many people, unfortunately, recognize that they love their partner, but they do not like him, they hide and silence their discomfort for a while, then they appear in the crisis, which will inevitably manifest itself.
As a relationship progresses over time, the couple experiences an immense variety of feelings. The beginning of the court is the stage of illusion, in which the loved one is idealized according to the needs of each one. Cohabitation opens the door to routine, responsibility and the arrival of children reduces the time of complicity between the couple, increasingly decreasing the seduction and charm of the other.
The arrival of the first child involves a division of ailments, only two people left!Care! Care and lack of sleep are shared with the newcomer, at this stage many men feel abandoned because they do not feel properly valued in their child’s first months of life.
Sex is declining. Then there’s the silent frustration
There are discussions, but there is no communication, it stops living for itself and for the other, common spaces are lost. Many mothers hoard their baby’s presence without sharing the child’s responsibility and pleasure with their husband, this is where many people give up their personal appearance and leave their spouses behind, it is no coincidence that this is a stage when the percentage of infidelity is higher.
Instead of expressing his displeasure with the woman, the man decides to have a drink and with his friends, an un manifested zeal finally appears. Frustration grows with indifference, while the mother lives her life as an extension of her child’s life.
Years later, when children enter adolescence or move, the couple is, at first, alone. Many are afraid to face this loneliness with their partner. Why? Because he’s become a stranger.
They realize that right now they don’t feel the same way, this love is different.
Life changes, it’s dynamic, and what we feel today won’t be the same as we’ll feel tomorrow. The idealization stage of appointments has been left behind. Fantasy doesn’t have any more space. It is immature to think that this step would continue.
Love matures, allowing crises, ups and downs, to face with the partner and, later, with the family. Passion subsided, stability arrived, love in peace. But why don’t I feel alive? What have you done to maintain seduction and complicity in your relationship?
In this context, many women silence their sexual dissatisfaction, the myth remains that women exist only to satisfy and not to enjoy sexuality. How will your partner know what you like if you don’t express yourself?
This is one of the factors that cause female infidelity, but, as in male betrayal, both are responsible, those who do not give and those who do not ask, if applicable, seek urgent professional help.