A few days ago, I was waiting in the box of a supermarket and the customer in front of me started telling the cashier, for no reason and without knowing, much about himself, his successes, his virtues, how perfect was he?”I graduated with honors, my daughter is doing her PhD, I am currently a business manager ??
The poor box looked at him and nodded, what was he going to say?But the man kept talking about himself exaggeratedly, as if waiting for his recognition, or approval.
- It caught my eye a lot and I thought.
- “Why do you need to recognize someone you don’t even know?”I have no doubt that man has really had all this in his life.
- And that’s fine.
- But why?Is there such a need to emphasize such things and that everyone knows?.
“Pride is not greatness, it is swelling; And the inflation looks good, but it’s not healthy?
? St. Augustine (bishop and philosopher)?
Even if, at first glance, we think this man has a high and healthy self-esteem, because it seems that’s what he wants to show, the reality is that he’s not exactly like that?Opposite.
Do people with high and healthy self-esteem have self-confidence and that safety is born of the person himself, does not depend on the outside world?Neither of his accomplishments, of his success, nor of his physique. Of course, these things influence, but they don’t determine self-esteem at all.
Therefore, someone who continually seeks praise and appreciation from others shows that he is missing himself. For this reason, you probably don’t love or don’t like your life; but far from recognizing it and starting to change, it hides, disguises itself and tells everyone how amazing it is. So, with this false recognition, do you feel safe in the short term?The possibility of rejection would be terrible!
The problem is, while it’s easy to fool others into believing we’re what we really aren’t, there’s not much to be wrong about.
Inflated self-esteem occurs in childhood. A child who does not receive the approval of the people around him, admiration or love in an appropriate way, will see himself as a worthy being, which will cause him to develop low self-esteem.
Once the child becomes an adult, he or she can opt for two different changes: either demand the love and approval of others, be subject to requests, be dependent, known to nothing, and lack affirmation because he or she is afraid of rejection; or exaggerate your identity and self-confidence by being vain and narcissistic and thus protecting you from the possibility of someone hurting you or telling you that you’ve failed at something.
Basically, these are people who are very afraid of rejection and failure, as well as not being approved and recognized by all. Your attitude is like a camouflage technique.
Because these people are not able to recognize their mistakes, they will also not be able to recognize that they have a self-esteem problem and that what they really need is help, so helping them becomes a complicated task, because the first step of change is to recognize that something is wrong.
The problem thus continues over the years, because in their disguise, they are never exposed to a negative opinion on the part of others, if someone perceives or recognizes one of your mistakes, your attitude would be so hostile and aggressive that no one else would. tell you anything and thus momentarily save your self-esteem, even if deep down they die of pain. Needless to say, these people’s social relationships are very toxic, as others will tend to distance therself, which will further strengthen their low self-esteem.
Unfortunately, reality is what it is, and whether we like it or not, there will always be someone who rejects us, with whom we do not get along very well or for whom we are not attractive, the sooner we start to internalize and accept. In this reality, we will first learn that self-esteem begins with ourselves and not with the assessments of others, which under no circumstances can we control.
Then:
? Start by acknowledging that you are a human being and that you have the right to fail and make mistakes.
? Ask for help when you need it, as no one is 100% competent
? He recognizes that no one is born knowing and that we all have to practice to learn.
? You’re not the best, there’s always someone better than you, if you want to be better work and fight for your goals in a healthy way, without comparing yourself and disqualifying others.
? You are a unique and irreplaceable being, precious just for existing and being who you are, without the need for others to remember you every day. You know who you are, start loving you more and being free and less dependent.
? You have nothing to show anyone. You are not the center of the universe, people are busy with other themes Cultivate your own inner being, your love and your respect for yourself If they love each other, show safety and humility, others will begin to admire them and desire their good.