A hug is a fascinating dance of connections. It is the bond of lovers who fuse their skins to caress the heart, is the refuge of two friends who reaffirm their complicity and is also the home of the child who needs to grow in company and safety. Glued, very attached to the mother’s womb, to the father’s neck, where she sleeps and dreams, united, very close, to those people who are her roots.
Therapists say few things say more about ourselves than how we kiss. There are quick hugs, eternal hugs and awkward hugs, those where no one knows exactly where to put their hands, where to rest their cheek.
- There are so many emotions emanating from those relaxed or tense bodies.
- From those rigid or hunched backs.
- Where each movement.
- Every gesture and each posture allows to read the level of shyness of one of the protagonists; as well as insecurity.
- Intimidation or the level of passion.
“Being with you or not being is the measure of my time. “-Borges-
However, whether we are true doctors in the art of hugs or tend to avoid those moments with the same discomfort as Sherlock Holmes in Arthur Conan Doyle’s stories, there is one fact that is certainly very interesting. ? Neuroscience News ?, demonstrated how a simple embrace and magical closeness on the part of someone who matters so much can reduce, for example, the impact of pain.
Those responsible for this work, Dr. Simone Shamay-Tsoory and Professor Irit Weissman-Fogel, call it “interpersonal sync,” an exciting term to remember because we will listen to and read many things related to this topic in the coming years.
Sometimes we forget it, but the skin is the largest “organ” in our body. It is a fascinating tissue, these three layers of cells that make up the epidermis, the dermis and the hypodermis act as a protective barrier, regenerate every month and send hundreds, thousands of information to our brain at all times.
In addition, out of curiosity, it should be noted here that our fingertips, the plants of our feet and our lips have been designed to absorb more refined, delicate and sensitive information from the environment around us.
To say that a hug is a true union of meanings between human beings is not an exaggeration, because in this social and emotional gesture so common in people, in reality there is a much deeper meaning than one imagines.
Not only do we collect and offer specific information, I embrace and embrace you to show your affection, your safety, your trust, your love or your friendship. In addition, as the University of Haifa in Israel shows, hugs activate the functioning of what we know today with interpersonal sync.
To better understand this interesting concept, we must observe with an unlimited power microscope and set aside everything that has been explained to us today about what communication is, because a hug is actually much more than a nonverbal language: it is an act. connection and synchronization.
When we talk about closeness and love among people, there is a sphere that transcends us, a network of invisible particles that connect us, that envelop us to form a real umbilical cord to reaffirm with our social group – take care of us.
So what has shown research from these groups of scientists, after studying 22 couples in 32 years, is that every time they kiss, the heart and respiratory rhythms are synchronized, as well as the waves. of the two people involved in this act. Do we, so to speak, enter the same frequency, in a state of calm, in which the emotional regulates the biological, in which physiological synchronization manages to decrease physical pain, suffering, stress, fear, tiredness??
“The more empathy there is among the partner, the stronger the pain-related analgesic effect. The greater the intimacy between the two members of this relationship, the more intense the physiological synchronization of the two.
-Pavel Goldstein, pain researcher at boulde University’s Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience Laboratory, Colorado-
Interpersonal synchronia not only appears in the relationship, when a baby is born, for example, her brain is not yet fully mature, the nine months in the mother’s uterus are not enough to develop completely, only to interact with the environment around her. That’s when we have to put into practice what is called exterogestation, a second pregnancy outside the uterus that develops on the skin of the parents, in this perfect refuge that are the arms of the parents, the caregivers.
“Popular wisdom says that every time we actually kiss someone, we earn one more day of life. -Paulo Coelho-
It is precisely at this moment that another fascinating biological connection arises: thermal synchronization. When a baby is cold, the mother’s chest temperature can rise up to two degrees; If the baby is hot the opposite happens, direct contact with the mother’s skin thus contributes to the creation of this shelter where it is possible to synchronize various biological needs, where to dissolve fears, offer warmth and promote the brain maturation of the child.
In conclusion, we must always keep in mind that physical contact, whether affection or care, contributes to our survival, to our well-being, interpersonal syncinrony teaches us that this skin-to-skin proximity puts us on the same physical, emotional and even energetic level, a moment when we can send a true and fascinating power that is often overlooked to us. At that point, love and affection reduce suffering, cold, stress, worry, doubt?and even pain.