Marcelo Ceberius is the author of books such as The Good Communication, Superheroes also a Therapy, and the famous Cinderellas and Ugly Ducklings. His bibliography is very complete and inspiring, based on the fields of communication, psychodiagnosis and psychotherapy.
His studies in systemic therapy are highlighted at the Institute of Mental Research in Palo Alto, California, an institute of which he is currently a teacher and representative in Argentina of Minuchin for the family and the school of family therapy of the Hospital San Pau in Barcelona.
- In addition to all this.
- It is also interesting to note that Marcelo Ceberio worked on the coordination of volunteers in the process of decommunication in Trieste.
- Italy.
- Leaving a mark on his revolutionary clinical practice.
He is a psychology professional with which it is a pleasure to talk and who brings very important aspects to work on ourselves and, at the same time, reflect on society.
“Self-esteem and resilience are concepts that go hand in hand. Will a self-sufficient and ingenious self-employed person feel to face problematic situations?Marcelo Ceberius
In our interview with Marcelo Ceberio, we delve into the concept of resilience.
Since Viktor Frankl so emblematicly described the significance of resilience in our lives with books like Man in Search of Meaning, we have learned a lot about this concept, being resilient is reflected in our well-being and improving our self-esteem.
Marcelo Ceberius offers a much richer view of resilience by integrating it from a systemic perspective and from a relational point of view.
In this way, it implies that not only are the psychological resources available to each of us to face adversity important, but our environment also acts as a mediator.
It is a very valuable and interesting approach that helps us to expand, if we can say it, everything we know so far about resilience, now we can see it as a synergistic whole in which biological aspects and even our emotional intelligence converge.
Psychologist Marcelo Ceberius explains below
We can define resilience in a simple way, as the ability of the human being to survive in adverse situations, in situations that make us vulnerable, a resilient person is able to use their own resources to face, adapt and overcome them.
While resilience is a sum of personal resources, it is an absolutely relational concept, as it tests interaction with others in a vulnerable context, which requires self-confidence to address it.
Personal resources are those tools that come from the factory, that are born with us and that develop with interaction with others and with the difficulties encountered.
However, it is clear that the environment (context) is very important, motivating and stimulating in the assessment of resilient personal resources.
We can say that both are relevant because they influence to enhance or paralyze, I am like me because you are who you are, that is, our identity depends on interaction: we are interaction, context, actions, situation, personal resources, biology, assigned meanings, all this makes us resilient.
Affection is fundamental, not only for the resilient person, but for everyone, because it is vital to life.
I always say that there are four known elements in nature: air, fire, earth and water, but a fifth is added to human territory: love. Love, in the case of the resilient, is an engine of actions that reverse disaster. We are beings with which we relate, we need each other to survive.
Has this relationship been demonstrated in the results of Harvard research on adult development?Harvard study on adult development. It is a research project that has followed and examined the lives of more than 700 men and women since 1938 and, in some cases, also of their partners.
This survey, which is the longest longitudinal survey in history, shows (according to its last two directors, Vailant and Waldinger) that the importance of living is reflected in affective relationships, i. e. close ties need to be maintained.
Thus, it is proven that the happiest and most mentally healthy people are those who have connections with their family and friends.
Waldinger also emphasizes the importance of good relationships, avoiding conflict and betting on healthy relationships, it is not the happiest who has the most friends, but the one who has quality relationships, is not quantity, is quality.
Finally, the ability to put yourself in the place of the other, have empathy, understand them, is a way to reduce conflicts and live a less conflicted life, components that facilitate the obtaining of more positive connotations of situations, extract trauma and change it for the nobility of each situation.
However, I must admit that there are situations where it is difficult to see the glass half full, such as the death of a child, devastating problems or disasters, genocides, among others.
Attachment, created as a concept by J. Bowlby in the 1940s, publishes that, to survive, human beings need contact with at least one primary person from whom they can not only feed (since human beings are a species that can’t eat alone), but they also have a sense of protection and an affection for safety.
Attachment not only belongs to the world of emotions, but it is also a purely inter-emotional concept in itself, a secure fixation marks us and strengthens us for life.
Indeed, people who are insecure, with relationship problems or, in many cases, who have marginal actions, have not had the support of love in the first years of life, which is a source of security and self-esteem.
Despite this, it is true that this inter-emotional, biological and emotional style is not only reduced to the early years, but is learned and can be systematized throughout life.
B. Cirulnyk, one of the most talked about resilience authors, talks about resilience tutors, who are those emotional supports, guides, motivators who help us overcome difficult situations.
An important distinction is that attachment figures are not only people (parents, spouses, godparents, aunts, friends, etc. ), but can be movies, phrases, stories, books, music, which generate stimuli in people. .
If the person has a secure attachment, he or she may have strengthened his or her ability to overcome; that is, it fed on genuine resources.
This is the true result of attachment: strengthen the protégé so that he can be autonomous and face life’s difficulties, but also have the ability to be saved by people in his adult world to help or support him in resolving conflict situations. .
At the same time, have the strength to offer yourself as an attachment figure or resilience tutor.
Self-esteem and resilience are concepts that go hand in hand, a person who values himself feels self-sufficient and has sufficient resources to deal with problematic situations, but he also knows how to ask for help and surround himself with positive people who work as guides.
These abilities, which we are often unaware of, depend in some way on our personal appreciation.
I define self-esteem as self-awareness to recognize both my resources and weaknesses, because recognizing myself as vulnerable also makes me stronger.
“The equation between self-esteem and resilience is knowing how to deal with traumatic or conflicting situations. “Marcelo Ceberius?
Devaluation and insecurity are sister cousins, a devalued person is not safe, her own insecurity drives her to devalue, and so she is lost in an endless cycle.
Naughty ducklings and Cinderella, in an attempt to overcome feelings of insecurity and devaluation, must first stop doing things for others to love and appreciate, as self-esteem is a process that arises from within and not the other way around. .
Do devalued people seek recourse to do things for others in secret expectation of recognition, and do they not realize that they are deferring their own desire by fostering each other’s desire?All to have a hug, a “I love you” or a “as if you were fantastic!”
They become supermatters, astonished women, ambulances, firefighters, perfect students, victims, all to receive a dose of self-esteem in the interactions they have, but it doesn’t work, because someone with low self-esteem is like a bag full of holes?Even if you try to fill it, it always empties.
Of course, everyone loves it when they congratulate them and when they hear they are good, intelligent and beautiful, but according to that, it is almost pathological.
You have to introspect, list virtues and flaws and understand that this person is you, with your own vulnerabilities and strengths, is the formula that affirms and values us.
Putting ourselves first, giving authentically without waiting for reciprocity, doing things that give us pleasure, asking, lovingly approaching strong people who enrich us, are actions of an emotional world that strengthens us and increases our happiness.
It’s hard to say a reason for these kinds of people: he’s still a stranger.
Human beings who have survived wars, concentration camps, family abuse, hunger, poverty and any other situation that generates vulnerability have a natural ability to survive, but others with only a quarter of these difficulties succumb and are consumed by context.
Resilience is
A resilient person has a cognitive attitude that structures positive thoughts in sequence and cascading, which nullifies automatic negative thoughts so traumatic and virulent to our emotions.
In the evolutionary process, there are also resilient adults who generated an identification parameter that generated a resilient future.
Parents who have difficult lives and have overcome painful situations raise their children with resilient attitudes, encouragement and motivation to provide them with resources to deal with situations, as well as explicit messages and teachings, for me these are the properties I have noticed in resilient people.
Good question! I believe that there is a resilient personality, or at least a tendency to resilience, in which some people spontaneously have the ability to survive or adapt and survive, as I described in the previous question.
However, resilience can be stimulated and building, in the field of psychotherapy we build resilience, that is, we value the resources of some people to develop a better capacity to face situations.
This means that some people already have the resources to solve and overcome disasters naturally, but others must promote, motivate, or create such tools to survive adversity.