Is this old friend’s wrath known to everyone, capable of transforming us into seconds?So dealing with it isn’t that simple. Some people express it as they feel it, others repress it or camouflage it with beautiful words, and even there are those who make it another kind of more pleasurable emotion?Anger is a complex emotion that requires deep review and inner reflection.
How many of us have been surprised by raising our voices or how many times has anyone overreacted to something we consider ridiculous?After all, what’s behind anger?
- I’ve been hearing from friends and acquaintances for years that the expression of anger is positive.
- That we must let go of everything we feel to be calmer.
- But is that true?Should we tell someone else the first thing that comes to mind anyway?To better understand this emotion.
- Let’s look at it in detail.
- Because not everything is what it seems.
We generally get angry when we consider that someone intentionally offended our personal identity and makes us feel humiliated. So it’s not just about not having achieved something we set out to do, but it requires the connotation of feeling insulted or hurt, or at least feeling it.
We can also feel angry when we see social injustices. If we walk down the street and witness a parent’s psychological abuse with their child, we may feel anger or outrage.
Can anyone be angry? Is it easy, but to be angry with the right person, at the right level, at the right time and at the right time, for the right reason and in the right way?It’s not available to everyone and it’s not easy?-Aristotle-
Many of you may be thinking, “I know people who get very angry when the printer breaks down. “In this case, interestingly, there is also a process of humiliation. Why this? There are people so negative that they interpret much of what happens in their life as an attack, no matter where it comes from. If the printer doesn’t work, you might be thinking “life is laughing at me and now you’re demonstrating it by making the printer fail. “
In this way we realize that we do not need a physical and external agent that subjects us to humiliation, but it is sufficient to interpret the intentionality of something that is alien to us to be angry, this is particularly important because it allows us to focus on ourselves. Do the others bother us or do we get upset?
When we react with anger, we try one way or another to protect or increase our self-esteem. Therefore, when we feel that our ego is threatened, our response can be angered by the situation.
If we react an angry way when someone honks their horn in traffic, we often interpret that they blame us for something that is wrong with our behavior, so we feel that our identity is threatened by thinking that our ways of being and acting are bad.
Aristotle, a Greek philosopher, argued that “it is cowardice, worthy only of a slave, to be insulted and to let people with affection be attacked with impunity. “From this statement is revealed a very simple justification for unleashing anger. Is it worth reacting an angry way to an insult? Sometimes we invest a lot of energy in tasks that don’t require the slightest effort.
On one occasion, Buddha’s disciples approached him and, concerned, asked him, “Master, no matter where we go, others mock us and insult us, how can this not affect you at all?”: “The insult can come out of them, but it never catches up with me. “
This precious teaching of Buddha is opposed to the Aristotelian argument of cowardice. The first involves suffering, the second involves peace and serenity; Which one are you staying with?
By feeling attacked by our personal identity, we suffer a physiological activation accompanied by the tendency to attack those we consider responsible for the damage, this attack can be both physical and verbal. The answer will depend on how well we have control and interpretation.
At other times, when the person we think offended us is our boss, the way we express anger may be less effective at work, we know that if we react aggressively, the consequences could be worse, such as dismissal, that is, in situations where we can endanger certain aspects of our lives, we choose to take more indirect action.
Once we have taken away all our anger about someone, one emotion that usually appears is the fault, when we reconsider the situation, on several occasions we feel guilty because we realize that we have outdone ourselves, so the blame acts to make us reconsider whether our reaction was the most appropriate.
Finally, we will mention people who always seem angry, in this case we could talk about a trace of them, that is, when it becomes a way of life, their mental patterns are shaped in such a way that they only know how to react.
There’s nothing better to start calming anger than taking a few diaphragmatic breaths. In the meantime, we can reflect on whether this person we feel guilty about our condition really wanted to offend us.
On several occasions we react because we are saturated with requests, because we had a bad day and everything activates us emotionally, so understanding or at least considering the possibility that others may also have these bad days will help us understand how you react and do not take them so seriously.
If our boss speaks ill of something we did, he may have spoken to another employee in the same way, so we should not take criticism as personal, but as a way to react to the other person who surprised us along the way.
While others seem to be in control of our emotional states, the power over anger is in our hands. We decide whether to get angry or not. Leaving something as precious as happiness in someone else’s hands is certainly a very high price.
Finally, I invite you to consider yourself an active agent in the face of an insult, not as a passive person who simply reacts, power is in your hands.