Is it made of plastic, glass or steel? How we deal with everyday difficulties determines the material we are made of, what we know today about how we deal with problems is that it is never too late to change the element that determines our reactions, that is, to make us stronger, of an even better material capable of withstanding the weather. It’s never too late to develop resistance.
If there is a decisive aspect to enjoy adequate mental and emotional well-being is to understand what kind of mechanisms we use in the face of the obstacles of life, in this context, two of the most common behaviors that we usually have in our day to day. lives are, on the one hand, evasion and, on the other hand, calm or “non-resistance. “
“The surest measure of any force is the resistance that prevails. -Stephan Zweig-
Far from reproaching ourselves for not being able to express an alternative to these behaviors when we suffer from stress, when a third person destroys us or when we are in a dead-end tunnel, we must pay attention to the most relevant aspects of these. The need to run or shut up are preprogrammed responses in our brains, they are defense mechanisms that already come with us from the factory, and if we do not update the system, we will have these resistances that are, in fact, designed for our survival, but that do not contribute to our happiness.
In this sense, developing the resilience of each one is an aspect directly related to our level of well-being, understanding it can help us, and much, achieve this goal.
Most of us have asked ourselves this question: “Why are there people who can face adversity in such a peaceful way?”We were surprised by its serenity, optimism and look able to see possibilities where others can only see walls and bars. Have you prepared in advance for the problem?Have you taken any classes, maybe you have innate wisdom or is your brain just different?
Well, we have the last option: the answer is in your brain, so, strangely enough, there are people whose brain is much more stress-resistant, there are personalities with more emotional resources to calm anxiety. , avoid irrational mental discourses in limiting situations, etc. The Weill Corner School of Medicine in New York has done a very interesting job in which the result has determined, among other things, a direct relationship between a child with a healthy attachment and a more skillful response to stress and anxiety.
Inadequate care or emotionally impaired education impairs children’s brain development. The most affected specific structure is the amygdala, a neurological control center so evolutionaryly ancient and sophisticated that it is responsible for regulating fear and our emotions. In this way, a child who has had a childhood deficient in x aspects will have more difficulty coping with his emotions, both in his own childhood and later in adulthood.
As we said at the beginning of the text, no matter what kind of mechanism we use today to respond to the difficulties that arise, to deal with stress and adversity, no matter if we are the type of person who flees, or who stands like a wooden tower in the midst of the storm, until it breaks down and collapses. We can all learn new strategies and, in this way, change our brains. Is it possible because of brain plasticity?our brain’s ability to change, to be plastic.
Training and stimulating the brain to have new ways of seeing and new strategies makes it a more resilient, skillful and sophisticated machine. The goal is to get to the point where our brain not only helps us survive, activating the fear switch in the face of situations that our mind interprets as dangerous. What we really want is for him to accompany us, to be our accomplice on the path of happiness.
Then we’ll look at the three types of stress response and how to develop resistance to each of them.
Stress hits and hits people with steel. This type of response, far from being healthy, carries many risks, being completely insensitive to stress will take away all the possibilities of learning something about the situations that arise and cause it, besides, in a way, no one can be completely waterproof. no one is made of real steel, because our coating is made of something much more subtle, which are emotions.
What we can do in this direction is understand that far from being a wall in the face of problems, and to succeed in the feat of returning them to our armor, we must acquire skills to better handle this problem. presented to us: the objective is to filter, manage, understand and transform the situation.
Among the ways to manage resistance, it is interesting that most of us apply this strategy, whose characteristics are:
As you can imagine if you think of a drink, the response of these people is not the most appropriate, in fact, it is the worst of all. It is the person who has the least resources to face stress, who after making a great effort to give in, adapt, ends up breaking, in this way what comes to him leaves him in pieces.
The tricks for healthier endurance tell us this: we must create an intermediate point between strength and flexibility, a space of maturity in which we can manage, prioritize and transform, if we let our innate psychological defenses speak more, we opt for the least resistant material: glass.
On the other hand, if we choose the most resistant material, we will use all our energy to oppose something, to build a wall that protects us from life, this is undoubtedly the strategy of steel.
So none of these answers are good?The key to developing healthier endurance is building our self-confidence to know that we can have something better. Therefore, we will not let this moment destroy us, break us or put an end to us. in armor and wait for the impact of the storm.
It is necessary to build a material in the middle of the road, with the characteristics of a diamond and also a bamboo, a flexible but solid material that allows us to move with difficulty to learn from it, a material that, although folded, resumes its original position after learning an important lesson of the situation, to move forward even more smoothly.
Let us begin today to work for the sake of our vital energy.