There are several popular sayings that address, from different angles, the question: is misfortune more bearable when shared?
On the one hand, the wickedness of many, the comfort of the?it drives you crazy to believe that if something bad affects more people (and not just me), I’ll be relieved. In reality, their problems will not be solved by the fact that others are in the same situation.
- However.
- Other sayings underline the comforting point of knowing that we are not the only ones going through a difficult situation Can this be true?The answer is yes.
- There are many everyday situations in which we encounter this phenomenon.
When a student scores low on an exam, the negative impact is reduced by knowing that most of their classmates had the same problem. Similarly, support groups for people with psychological disorders are helpful in simply connecting with someone who is in the same situation. .
But what’s the basis of all this?Are we inherently bad? No way. There are several reasons for this process.
Research in social psychology has become aware of the pressure exerted by the social group on individuals for many years. Much of our identity is forged in relationships with others and, therefore, its influence on our self-image is very great.
All humans tend to compare the other to measure their value and ability. The result of this comparison will have an impact on our self-image.
That’s why, when disaster strikes us, the comparative balance tilts against us, we feel different and inferior and we start to create negative emotions.
Meeting other people in the same situation makes the comparison more favorable. This, in a way, protects our self-esteem: we are no longer the only ones who have “failed. “
The relief of knowing that a difficult situation worries others is that it reminds us of our common humanity. When a negative and unexpected event occurs, emotional shock can be very significant.
If we ignore an important test, if we are betrayed, if we suffer from a panic disorder . . . All these situations put us in an unfavorable position at first, we feel that we are failing as people, that we are not suitable, that something different is happening to us.
Being aware that we are not the only ones broadens our perspective, reminds us that we are all human, that we are all experiencing positive and negative events, this, finally, pain is part of the human experience as much as pleasure.
Success and failure are part of life’s adventure
This helps us calm our minds, silence the internal dialogue that accuses us, and normalize our emotions as a transient and acceptable process; In addition, seeing how others face similar circumstances can motivate us to use our own resources. experiences, we can have ideas to do better.
Despite the relief of shared shame, it’s important to note that the key will always be to act, if you haven’t passed one exam, you should study more for the next one. The fact that many other teammates also misrated. won’t improve your resume.
Similarly, if your relationship is over, you’ll need to use your internal adaptive resources and move on, it’s not advisable to join those who are going through the same experience to sink into suffering, but to motivate you to move on.
Finding people in the same situation should not lead to victimization, bitterness or anger, your attitudes will always be the ones that will take you from where you are and that will take you where you want to go.
So, if you’re going to be watching others, get inspired to move on. Notice how they accept error as part of life and learn from it. Lean on others to repair your wings and fly again.