Getting bored with your partner is as normal as getting bored of work, family, commitments or any other reality of life. Let’s start by saying that boredom is not as deplorable or as negative as many people think. Basically, it’s like the flu: no one is, free to have it once in a while.
We can define boredom as a state in which there is no interest or motivation, etymologically it comes from latin taedium, taedere, which means disinterest, bring monotony, so from an etymological point of view it would be a disinterest by monotony.
- Getting bored with your partner.
- Your work.
- Your friends.
- Whatever.
- Is perfectly normal under certain circumstances.
- It’s just a consequence.
- Not a problem in itself.
Just as night allows us to value the day, and vice versa, these periods in which there is a certain tiredness also allow us to value novelty.
“Give me a soul that doesn’t experience boredom or growls, sighs and groans, and don’t let me torment too much that too awkward thing that’s called “me. “- Tomus Moro–
Boredom is the brother of depression, but not its synonym, it is a condition that generates discomfort and easily leads to sadness, sometimes generating doubts and reflections on the true meaning of life, which after a while can lead to despair.
Isaac Asimov once said that boredom would become the great disease of modern times. Why modern times, there was no boredom in ancient times?
Perhaps the connotation of this sentiment has changed, it is now that it has acquired a very negative meaning and is therefore hardly tolerated.
A person gets bored when there is no pleasure in his life; boredom arises when activities or routine become too repetitive; also when there are no goals or goals, or these lose their power of attraction.
Boredom with your partner is considered a serious warning sign, the first idea that arises is the suspicion that love is over, those who have a long-time relationship know that is not the case.
Love and boredom are realities that often coexist, even if they seem contradictory.
Most commonly, people get tired of their partner after a few years of cohabitation, some studies point out that the critical point occurs at four and seven years of relationship.
Four years ago because it is the time when the brain stops releasing dopamine and other substances associated with passion. At 19, because anthropologically this coincides with the cycle that completes the creation of a child.
Therefore, we are biologically prepared not to need the partner anymore when the survival of the species is fully guaranteed.
Psychologically, getting bored with your partner may be a sign that the stage of romantic love is over, however, a studio by Sandra L. Murray, Dale W. Griffin and John G. Holmes point out that the greater the idealization in the phase where you’re in love, the less boring you’ll be later.
When two people fall in love, the so-called “anxiety of affection” is activated in them. Starting a romantic relationship with someone creates the feeling that life itself is expanding.
All this is lived as a psychological awakening that gives rise to very pleasant sensations.
Then there is the need for protection and comfort, as well as the fear of loss. The antidote to all this is the closeness of your loved one. When it’s around and these feelings match, the anxiety subsides. So what exists is a strong need, to connect with your loved one.
Over time, this feeling of individual expansion and psychological awakening attenuates, the extraordinary becomes familiar and the feeling of novelty disappears, thus also weakening the enthusiasm and diminishing the accumulation of pleasant sensations that previously felt.
This is where it is possible to get bored with your partner, sadly things will never be the same again, but there are ways to rekindle the relationship and avoid getting bored.
The introduction of news and changes is the main way to generate mutual interest, and it is also important to evolve individually to change the feeling of being ‘always doing the same thing’.