Let us begin by saying that few life experiences are as rewarding as loving and being loved as a couple, on the other hand, lack of affection creates enormous suffering, as this lack of love becomes the source of much of mental disorder.
At the beginning of a sentimental relationship, we experience an uncontrollable emotion, life takes on a special meaning: there is motivation and confidence to face anything, it is with the time and coexistence that conflicts arise and then we begin to realize the choice we have made. .
- The choice of partner is a seemingly spontaneous mechanism.
- However.
- Over time.
- One wonders if one was actually aware of everything when choosing.
- No one wants to make a mistake in choosing a partner.
- Like many who initially thought they had found the perfect match.
- And end up feeling disappointed.
You could say that in most cases, when choosing a partner, you will inadvertently be placed a set of idealized expectations associated with pleasure and well-being, however, we ignore some less romantic aspects, such as the differences that exist. between the two, the obligations that arise from the relationship, strategies to deal with discomfort, etc.
Due to the action of several unconscious mechanisms, we fundamentally expect the other person to meet our needs, in the other person we project our unmet needs and desires and hope to solve all our problems, of course, everyone denies it, but in practice, that’s how it works.
We could make a long list of what we are looking for in an escort, we want you to be responsible, hardworking, friendly, healthy, respectful, tolerant, affectionate, in a good mood and whose physicality corresponds to our tastes. keep growing, but it doesn’t matter. The question is: why do we fail in our choice if everything is so clear?
It is important to consider the context and mental moment in which we choose a partner, if there is a strong emotional vacuum, it tends to attribute exaggerated virtues to the other person, which adds an emotional risk, this attitude follows a set of poorly channeled needs and intolerance to loneliness, which results in an unsuccessful attempt from the beginning to create a bond with the other.
In general, our partner’s choice procedure originates from all the unconscious emotions that arise from the relationship with our parents, that is, the relationship we established with them, especially in childhood, and the relationship that developed between them, which determines the structure and mentality. working on us for the rest of our lives.
Our whole life is marked by these early bonds. Parents who work harder to help their children develop the ability to think and encourage effort, as well as a taste for knowledge, generate emotionally healthy children.
On the other hand, parents who forbid or limit the search for knowledge, curiosity or creativity will raise children who, as adults, will form emotional bonds formed by fear, lies, envy and hatred. What kind of parents did you have?Answers to these questions can give you clues as to why you choose partners the way you do.
It should be noted that new forms of relationship and love are emerging today, however, there are no ways for the unconscious. In human beings what prevails is the instinct of life, the one you seek and want, that seeks union, that generates life and gives the conditions to create and build.
In constant experience, the past is present, in terms of this unconsciousness, it also reflects that human beings will establish links with life, and will do so depending on the type of attachment relationships they have created with their parents since birth. .
The type of relationships will of course be added to the different degrees of intensity associated with the experience, on the other hand, the type of instincts, both life and death, that prevail in each part will be decisive.
It will be all this set of elements that will determine if one person is attracted to another. The better you know and understand these loves from your early years, the freer and healthier your relationships will be today.