“I love you when it’s cold even at 21 degrees C, I love you when it takes an hour to order a sandwich, I love the wrinkle that forms here when you look at me like I’m crazy.
I love you when, after spending the day with you, my clothes smell like your perfume, and I want you to be the last person I talk to before I sleep every night.
- And it’s not because I’m alone or because it’s New Year’s Eve.
- I came here tonight because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone.
- Do you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible?.
This is perhaps one of the most beautiful declarations of love we’ve ever heard. It was said by Harry Burns (Billy Crystal) to his best friend Sally Albright (Meg Ryan) in the film “Made For Each Other”.
However, a study by American psychologist Heidi Reeder conducted several interviews with nearly 100 men and women, evoking the feelings they and their best friend have for their best friend, after analyzing the results, the researchers came to the following conclusions:
1. La attraction of friendship is the most common, it is the attraction we feel for the people we love about the company.
Romantic attraction is the least common among friends, although most have felt it at some point, especially at the beginning of friendship, it is the desire to exchange friendship for a romantic relationship.
3. Physical/sexual subjective attraction. A third of respondents confess to feeling it in relation to their friend is the desire to have sex as part of the friendship.
4. More than half of the study participants felt an objective physical/sexual attraction, which means thinking that the friend is attractive, but without feeling any personal attraction.
With these results, it is clear that friendship and love are intense and very close feelings, in this way it is easy to think that jumping from each other is possible and simple, but there is always the fear of revealing an attraction to the other. for fear of rejection or loss of friendship.
But research tells us that true friendship resists impact
What is the difference between those who manage to maintain their friendship and those who constantly distance the the most?
Statistically analyzed data show that friendship success is linked to how to behave before, but especially after confession.
Heidi Reeder argues that friendship can be maintained if certain suggestions are followed and, most importantly, if calm is maintained.
Encouraging friendship, intentionally making it work, and maintaining the same customs as before is a fundamental first step for friendship to continue.
It is very important to accept that feelings are not reciprocal and that suffering was caused by rejection, but we must remember that acceptance is not abandonment, it is the release of negative emotions.
In general, strong and lasting friendships are highly likely to withstand the storm, while new friendships are more vulnerable. In the surviving friendships, there was greater complicity; are open relationships where people talk freely about very intimate discussions without disguise.
“Loveless sex is an empty experience, but as an empty experience, is it one of the best?
Occasionally it is necessary to vent with your friend, someone who really knows us and who can give us a new perspective of our thoughts, and one night comes, which seemed like an opportunity with friends ends with a night of passion.
Of the 300 respondents, 20% had had sex with a friend at some point in their lives, but even more so, 76% admit that their friendship has strengthened since then.
In these cases, it is possible to restore the climate of complicity and friendship that existed before passion surprised them, for this to happen it is necessary to remember that dialogue is the basis of friendship, and you must not hide behind worldly excuses that only makes the situation worse.
Harry and Sally are fictional characters, and in real life they would be the exception that confirms the rule. The same survey presents a very interesting fact: only a small percentage of respondents even had a relationship, and 50% of them managed to establish a relationship. much more lasting relationship.
They are friends? The first step is to be honest with yourself and with your friend.