If your child has a tantrum, it may indicate that he or she is frustrated or overwhelmed by his emotional world; Therefore, identifying when and why tantrums occur will give us clues as to how we can help you properly manage these emotions.
Once the scandal has passed, what remains is a learning window, so that we can reflect with the child on what happened, in this way we can invite him to think what might have been the most positive and alternative behaviors in the face of what happened, as well as we can teach them to better communicate what is happening from a deeper knowledge of his emotions.
- Next.
- We’ll explain different strategies that can be used during and after children’s tantrums.
- To turn them into a kind of situation from which we can take advantage of educational and learning opportunities.
- And thus take advantage of them.
- Let’s see below.
“What we give to our children, they will give to society. “Karl A. Menninger.
Losing your temper when a child has a tantrum can make it even harder because we’re up the tone and, as a result, kids may feel even more stressed, and we’re likely to end up setting a bad example. If we do, the adult’s task is to show the child other ways to deal with frustration and express feelings and desires.
Therefore, it is important to remain calm and focus our efforts on understanding the child. In this way, we can become a reference figure that children can count on when they are unable to control their emotions.
“Don’t stop your child from seeing life’s difficulties, show him to overcome them” – Louis Pasteur-
In general, if your child has a tantrum, doesn’t do it to get your attention, or to provoke or get angry, what usually happens is that he or she is emotionally overwhelmed by the situation he or she is in at the time, and they don’t have the tools to do the opposite. They feel frustration or anger and express it through a tantrum.
The important thing is that we don’t get angry or take it personally, and we only see behavior as a way to react to an event. We can help the child understand that there are other ways to act and deal with this emotion.
The way we have to deal with our emotions is probably related to how our parents taught us how to deal with them, so it’s so important for adults to understand that they are the main example for their children.
If our parents personally took our child tantrums and didn’t teach us any other way to express our emotions, we’re likely to experience a lot of negative emotions during our own children’s tantrums and also don’t know how to handle them. Correct.
“Give your child a constructive idea and you’ll have enriched it forever. “- Montaper-
It is essential to empathize with our children and their feelings, and try to put into simple words what we believe is happening to them, all in a calm and welcoming voice, and always putting us up to them to address them. In this way, you will feel more heard and understood.
Remember that tantrums are not a personal attack on us, children suffer the most because they do not know how to deal with their negative feelings, perhaps at that time the only way they need to express what they feel is by shouting and shouting that we must try to translate, so that in the future they can express themselves in another way.
On the other hand, empathy does not mean that we have to give in to a tantrum, if we do we will not give him tools for the child to learn to manage his emotions, on the contrary, we will show that the characteristic of kicking At any time they want something will work for them, that is, we will show them that expressing ourselves through a tantrum is a great idea to achieve something.
Therefore, being empathetic to the child means translating what he or she thinks and feels. For example: “I think you’re upset because you were having fun playing, but did we have to leave?Or” you just wanted to put on your shoe, but you couldn’t do it and I went to help you and you were frustrated. “This way, the child will feel that you understand the situation and will be able to calm down and listen to you.
Offering an alternative and helping to divert attention to prevent the tantrum from continuing may be another good strategy, however, it will work better once they are calmer and feel understood, if we do so immediately as soon as they start having tantrums, we can cause even more frustration.
“Educating is not a path without difficulty, but tempering the soul to the difficulties of life. ” – Pythagoras-
At the end of a tantrum, or when the child has calmed down a little, we can offer him a hug or affection, we can also invite you to wash your face and drink a glass of water, if he does not accept it He can accompany you and breathe together, or explain that he can ask for a hug when he needs it.
In the case of a tantrum that includes behaviors such as beating, it is important to contain the child as firmly as possible and explicitly show that it is not legal, if the child tries to hit us we must hold him firmly, without causing damage or injury, and make it very clear that it is not allowed.
It is important not to give in to what the child wants, even if he is not screaming, if we do, we will generate an understanding that our children can use tantrums to get things done or as a way of expressing themselves. we can offer them all kinds of positive attentions, affections and hugs, this will confirm that we will be with them no matter what.
On the other hand, we can also negotiate and give more options, because it is a way to show our children that they are heard and that their feelings matter.
“There are two permanent legacies that we can pass on to our children: one is the roots, the other the wings. -Hodding Carter-
Once the child is calmer, we can talk to him about what happened. Let him explain what he felt to us and try to explain what we saw and felt. We can also use this moment to think of alternative ways to deal with these situations when they happen again.
Now, if our children are very young, it will be necessary to interpret the situation and put words on what we understand is happening, we too will be the ones who will give the solutions, until we find the one that will please both.
The anger phase is normal during the child’s development, as long as it does not exceed certain limits, in fact, as they can become opportunities to learn to tolerate frustration and express negative emotions, this is a beneficial phase, it is something of vital importance to live in a society that has limits and rules.
Anger attacks allow parents and children to practice gradually to gain tolerance for frustrations, mistakes, mistakes, disappointments, and loss of life that normally occur; therefore, they are also opportunities to teach emotional skills that will help the child become a teenager and an adult. with greater internal maturity.