Seneca said centuries ago that “one of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is understanding and understanding. “However, what happens when you don’t feel understood by your friends or family?You may prefer to talk to strangers to make up for it. that, and you might even feel a lot better. Now, is it normal for you to find it easier to talk to strangers than to acquaintances, what mechanisms are put in place to produce this curious phenomenon?
The truth is that, although not usual, it can be considered normal, that is, there are profiles that have difficulty relating to people they know, it is more difficult, they feel less confident, the reason is due to the fear of a negative or even positive evaluation that others can make.
- Talking to strangers can be something that doesn’t bother us.
- When we say “talk” we can also refer to the establishment of other kinds of social relations.
- That is.
- Shower in the gym locker room or start conversations at work.
- For example.
However, when we are in the presence of a friend or acquaintance with whom we have a closer bond, we may feel terribly embarrassed or frightened, that is, we feel bad. We are afraid of what others may think of us, which will form a negative image or discover our shortcomings, actually obey the bad conception we have of ourselves, that is, we are ashamed of our physicality, our social skills, etc.
Interestingly, the fear we feel is not only because of the negative impact they can also cause us, even if the registration is positive, it can be a source of shame, as we have said, which usually indicates that we are not sure.
The question is, when you talk to strangers, are the subjects usually worldly, routine?, that is, it is as if we are following an un written script, but with which we are used to and we feel comfortable, even in these situations, we can play a role, which is to show ourselves what we want, because it will probably be brief and it is very unlikely that we will see the other person again.
Even psychologists believe that interacting with strangers has different benefits than we can get by talking to people we know. According to a study by Elizabeth Dunn, a professor of psychology at the University of British Columbia, talking to strangers makes people happier; behave more friendlyly and feel integrated into the community.
The key is the triviality of the conversation. If you work with the public, you won’t have trouble showing yourself in a pleasant way in front of people you don’t know, you know you’re going to talk about the weather or how life is going, and you certainly won’t. see them again.
However, when the conversation becomes more confidential, you can start to appear, hence the fear of judgment, the shame of showing us how we really are.
This is the case with a very curious phenomenon, that is, we are not concerned about what a stranger thinks of us, however, the opinion of a loved one or acquaintance can be embarrassing.
It is obvious that the more intimacy we have with a person, the more they will focus on our positive attributes, but they will also realize our flaws and flaws. Maybe the effect we’re going to have on that person is hard to accept.
Clinical psychologist Encarni Muoz Silva offers us a series of tips that we can put into practice when talking to people we know.
“The greatest gift of life is friendship, and I received it” – Hubert H. Humphrey-
Keep in mind that it is relatively normal to feel comfortable with strangers and feel uncomfortable talking to people close to you, but it is not necessary, the ideal is to feel comfortable with people you know, if this is your problem, forget about the drama and avoid creating tension and anxiety, because they won’t get you anywhere.